Sunday update

Do you ever have so much going on that you just can't.. do.. anything?

Over the course of Friday I made a list of what I needed to get done this weekend. I broke it down into hours - both of hours each task would take, and hours I was prepared to spend on each task for the bigger projects. My total was 14 hours for the weekend.

Sweet; no problem. I was going to dedicate my weekend to moving forward.

What did I do? Nothing.

Well not exactly nothing. Yes, on Saturday: nothing. Didn't even get out of my nightie!

Sunday I went to the French markets before dropping into the MINI Garage to test out a few MINI options. Yes, why not look at brand new cars while your jeans remain unhemmed at home, Michelle!

This afternoon I baked a sponge cake and, uncharacteristically, trashed the kitchen in the process.

When I was reading of ways to be French, one of the suggestions was to be your own Grand Aunt. The person in your life who gave you good advice and take you to high tea and generally be a tremendous support for you in your life.

Well my Grand Aunt seems to be an amphetamine addict with erratic compulsions and a desire to disappoint everyone.

For effs sake, the very last thing in the world I need is MORE CAKE! What I need is CLEAN LAUNDRY! and a few more BLOG POSTS!!

Ah well. Weekends are pretty short and the French Market really is a lovely way to start a Sunday. I would like to buy a brand new MINI but I am not really the kind of adult who is old enough to buy a new car.

Have a good week peoples: see you on the internets!

Groundhog Day

Tell me why you didn't achieve this KPI?

Because the stakeholder working group decided to move this project to next year. I couldn't achieve the KPI for this year on a project that was no longer within the time period. We did talk about it at the time and you agreed that the KPI would move to next year's development program.

Oh right, thanks.

Remind me, why didn't we do this KPI?

Because the project was moved to next year instead of this year. So we couldn't achieve the goad this year. But we will next year.

Oh right, thanks.

I know I've asked you this before, but why didn't you achieve this KPI?

Because the working committee moved the project by a year. So the KPI was no longer valid for this year.

Oh right, thanks.

Would you like me to put that in an email so you have it in writing?

No, no. That's okay. I've got it now.

Hey, hi.

Hi.

So this KPI here wasn't achieved.

That's right.

Can you tell me why?

Really?

Yeh, why didn't this get done?

The working committee moved the project to next year. So the KPI couldn't happen this year. Next year, it can be done when the project gets done.

Oh right. Thanks.

Remind me again why this KPI wasn't done?

I sent that to you in an email the last time you asked about this.

Oh I know, but just tell me. I'll find the email again later.

The project was moved from this year to next. So the KPI has had to move with it. No project this year, no KPI this year. Next year the project will be done and the key performance indicator will be achieved.

Right. Ok, thanks.

You've asked me about this quite often. Is there something about it you don't understand?

No, no. I understand it. I'm clear. That's great.

Okay.

My line manager wants to know why this KPI hasn't been achieved.

*stare*

Can you tell me why?

*stare*

See here where it says you were going to do this thing, and it wasn't done? Why is that?

*stare*

Can you hear me?

The stakeholder working committee decided that the project would be moved to next year, so the KPI couldn't be achieved because it's part of the project. Therefore it was not done this year. It will be done next year, when the project is done. You agreed that the KPI would shift from this year's development plan to next year's development plan.

Oh, right. Yes, I remember something about that.

Would you like me to resend the email with all the details.

Oh, no, I'll have it somewhere.

*resends email* would you like to have a chat about the KPI to be really clear on what happened?

No, no, I'm across it now. 

HR hotline

If we made a website that had a blog, and video, and podcasts. Do you think that would be a good website? 

Ahh.. sounds like it could be?

Yes, I thought so too. Could you do it?

Ahh.. what do you mean?

Could you make the site? with video and a blog and podcasts. Maybe a forum too?

The thing is, each one of those little words like "blog" has so much work involved in it. For instance, who is the blogger? or bloggerS for that matter. And what are they going to write about? and how often? and who's going to chase them up when they miss their deadlines? and wrangle the editorial calendar so they have topics to write about? and what do we do when no one produces their blogs because it's not a priority because of all their other tasks are more important?

So you don't think you could do it?

It sounds like you may need a dedicated resource to run this project.

And that's not you.

Not with my current work load, no. I currently do the same thing with two dedicated days per week. You could dedicate another two of my days on this new project and shift my current work to someone else, if you wanted me to do it.

So we need to hire a web person?

Well you need to hire someone who has a vision of what this site can be, a focus on the problems it is solving, a ability to research what the audience needs, and a drive to see the project through while managing stakeholders and juggling providers and contractors.

So I need to hire a comms person?

Would a comms person necessarily have the skills to manage all those facets? probably not - they're probably good at the writing, some parts of the content. May not be as web savvy as you need them to be when dealing with videographers or podcasters or maybe they're more news based and having to write script for podcasts is out of their field? You need to find the right person.. someone like [awesome girl in marketing] who can just rise to all the challenges.

So I need to hire a project manager?

Mostly you need to figure out what this webpage is about.

Ok, great. I'll talk to HR and see who's available.