Calm Down and Start Again

empty chair in an empty room

I feel I need to apologise for the frequency of posting this month. I think posting every day is too often - but I'm doing "Blog every day in May" and it's May, so there you go.

It has always been feast or famine round here anyway - that may even be what is expected if anything at all is ever expected.

Motorbikes and mohawks

It seems my mid-life crisis has arrived early.

I have to admit, there may not be very much about my crisis that you'll find worth your while - here, have another apology. You could point and laugh, that'd be okay. Things may get less cohesive (and maybe even a little corrosive) around here as I may begin disappearing further up my own chakras in search of something - anything - interesting. Cos I lost my 'interesting', along with a bunch of other things that'll I'll be trying to locate and reform in the following months. I am developing a cunning plan that will start with moving an important date.

A lot of people (not me) love New Years Eve - they go out to parties and drink champagne and kiss someone they care about (at the time) when the clock counts down and rings the new year in. I want a new year, so I'm going to move New Years to June 1st this year. Why? Because I can't wait til December 31st. I have the power to start a new year in June because I am the boss of me, and my whole universe, and I've decided to start this year over. The first half was CRAP inside my head and broke my heart and frankly, the CRAP was because this version of Michelle doesn't work properly.

So my new year is starting on June 1st 2010 and right now I am creating a list - I'm sure the list items will pop up here - a lot of them play tag with failure - so if nothing else, I might have a few new stories of misfortune to share.


Midlife crisis is a term coined ... to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age.


Reading Wikipedia's definition of 'mid-life crisis', I don't think the part about old age and dying apply to me - in many ways I'm looking forward to both. I am just very unsettled with so many of my apples lolling about on the floor from an upturned apple-cart that I think that is the way my mid-life crisis is manifesting itself. Looking at those apples, I might throw some of them away, or throw some at other people. But I would very much like my apple-cart to be back on its wheels and doing what it was designed to do.