Why am I awake?

I'm awake. It's dark and quiet and I'm wondering why. The strange peacefulness of this busy street. No cars, no trucks - maybe that's why I'm awake. I haven't heard it without traffic since I moved in here. I can hear the rain soft against the car parked outside my window. How romantic. Wait, against the leaves too - that's better. Steady. Wet rain. No wind.

Why am I awake? Did the rain wake me? I fell to sleep so quickly, easily. Dammit. I look at the clock - midnight in Australia; after lunch in the UK; mid morning in Wisconsin. Christ why can't I just see the time here. Time blindness. Legacy chat habit. I think about what the Dutch might be doing.

There's a sound at the end of each breath. What is that? that's new. Heh, a wheeze, how cute. Like an old man who smokes too much, or my sister when her asthma is bad.

Aw crap, why am I awake? there's no real reason. I was dreaming. Dreaming about Braden and the headphones. He was wanting to know why I'd bothered bringing my iPod to work when I didn't bring any headphones. Pointless he said. Waste of time, he added. I didn't have a good answer so I made him roll his eyes by saying I used the reflective surface on the back of the iPod to put my lipgloss on neatly. He rummaged in his drawers with an exasperated sigh and found a pair of bud earphones I could use. He's such a solutions kind of guy. Strange dream until I realised that it wasn't. It had happened this afternoon during a day with dreamlike qualities. Yesterday afternoon. There's that wheeze again. Now a cough.

That's another new. That's not good. I cough again. Not satisfying either. And it hurts. I think maybe that's what's woken me up. I didn't have that cough when I went to bed. I have that cough now. I reach for the juice beside my bed. It's orange and mango, left over from dinner eaten in my room.

So nice to come home after walking home from class tonight to find dinner plated up for me - a distinct advantage to living with people is that they do nice things like cook dinner. I keep forgetting that's what people do for each other when they live together so it's still a lovely surprise after such a long Wednesday. I ate my dinner on my crumpled bed, still in my red coat while texting Christchurch, being so cold nosed from the night air and feeling small amongst the tangled bedding. The food was good. Just what I needed. Just like the juice.

It had been a nice walk home from the college. Class had gone well. People were kind with their thanks on this the last evening class of the term. It doesn't always go well, but tonight it did. The night had been still, and dark, and cold. I listen as thunder rolls it's way around the bowl of the city - it always feels that shape on nights like this. I sip juice again as I feel another cough coming. Sore throat. Clock says it's 12:45am in Australia - stupid time zone brain - getting on for 4pm in the UK, Wisconsins'll be thinking about lunch - Dutchies'll be packing up to go home from work.

Cough. Ow. Dammit. Why am I awake?