Things I bet you thought I knew but actually I had no idea

Almonds are from the plum family.

I know! It's freaking amazing the stuff I don't know.

And.. so that makes them, yup - you guessed it - a fruit!
maybe almonds are gay
that's okay
some of my favourite nuts are homosexual.
- macadamias
- pine
- pistachios (<= obviously)

It's not like I would stop my daughter / son (<= depending on golf swing) from forming a civil union with one but wouldn't want one joining my country club.

Speaking of people figuring out their sexual orientation, this Greek chick named Phyllis (<= I'm thinking she wasn't an oil painting) was jilted at the alter (<= cos pretty people never get jilted - or so I've read) by her fiance Demonhon (<= so saw that coming). Phyllis died of a broken heart (<= seems the internet failed to deliver a replacement - damn internet dating) and the Gods felt sorry for their homely Phyllis and transformed her into an almond tree (<= an improvement, possibly) which became a symbol of hope (<= seems being a symbol for premarital sexual experimentation might have made more sense). Years later, after Demonphon had been dumped by his numerous lovers and had returned a dodgey blood test, he returned to Phyllis but found her to be leafless, flowerless tree. He hugged her treelike form (<= talk about Safe Sex) and she burst (<= little pent-up) into flower in a demonstration of a love not conquered by death (<= or something)

Maybe Demonphon was a herbalist / botanist afterall.

Almonds always grow in odd numbers - that's really cool. They are given as tokens of good fortune and happiness for christenings (<= won't get pregnant holding an almond between your legs, Ladies)

Like lots of nuts, and even moreso because it's a fruit - you can squeeze a lot of good stuff out of an almond.
Almond butter.
Almond milk.
Almond oil.
Almond paste (little bit like marzipan - yuk)
Almond flour
Almond extract (for flavouring)
hellovalot more stuff comes out of squeezing and almond than, say, squeezing me.

This post was written as the lamest, cheapest birthday present for my poor long suffering (<= due to her particularly crap siblings) sister Joanne.

Happy Birthday, Jo. Get off the internet so I can call you!