To whom it may concern

Why aren't my christmas lights with my christmas decorations? Wouldn't that have been a sensible place to store [if a person ever had the organisational skills to store anything] seasonal objects?

I decided, last night, to decorate my tree. First, mood music: I only have [had] two christmas-type cds and, to be completely honest, I listen to them throughout the year because, well, I like singing along *okay*? I couldn't find the Harry Connick Jr one but did find the Amy Grant CD. So, theme music on, tree with silver branches pulled out and ready to decorate. Time to retrieve my beautiful christmas decorations.

Talking about storing things I'm thinking when a person *stores* stuff they *think* about what they're storing and store appropriately: apples, say, in a cool dry place; books stored somewhere dry and insect free; frozen foods, in the freezer; you know, sensible places. If one wishes to store expensive finely blown glass christmas globes from Harrods, one might store then in the top of a wardrobe or storeroom, up high and safe. Where did you find your box of decorations Michelle? Well, lets just be thankful that all the heavy boxes on *top* only broke two of the fragile globes because really, they should have *all* been munched being on the bottom of three big boxes of papers and art supplies.

As is often the case when looking for one thing, you find another. Amongst the boxes I found an old tin of letters - love letters and why-don't-you-love-me-anymore letters.

Reading through these old letters brought back lots of memories, all softened with age though some still make me grrr. Overall I see how young and immature I was, and for the first time realising - I was supposed to be. Over the years I would beat myself up [a little, not a lot] about the way I handled some of those situations. But not anymore - looking back I realise, how else could i have handled them? I had no idea of life, or who I was let alone who the other person was. I'm better at being me these days, and have been for some time now.

I wouldn't mind being able to go back in time as the 2004 me [in the 1980 body thankyouverymuch] and handle those situations properly. Probably just as well that's not an option or there'd be a couple of guys limping through their lives without testicles.