Friday Q: Unthankful

FQ1: Name one thing you are thankful for that is kind of a silly thing to be thankful about.

Pencil Sharpeners - I love a soft, pointed lead in my pencil [NOT a euphemism] but dislike most mechanical pencils - the exception being the 0.9mm which actually kicks.ass. I also enjoy [sounds like my Miss New Zealand competition introduction] a softly pointed tip to my lip liner [and long walks on the beach where I think about World peace and rabbits and stuff] I particularly like self-contained pencil sharpers which retain the shavings but I am willing to cross the floor to a rubbish bin to save making piles of shavings on my desk [and yet I am sometimes found making small piles of pencil shavings on my desk because i'm.a.complicated.person] - not so much because of the mess but because pencil shavings smell funky.

FQ2: Name two things other people seem to be thankful for which you are not.

Surprise Parties - weird but true and yet another example of the complexness that is me, but I hate being the centre of lots of attention. You scoffed!! but it's true. I *adore* being the centre of attention in a small group of good friends, or the complete attention of one very special man. But I *hate* being the focus of attention of a large group of people and i comPLETELY hate being thrown a surprise party and before you all who threw me one for my 30th get all huffy.. i didn't know that *then*. That Party taught me the knowledge I am emparting to you today - ixnay on the artypay.

No Wave, Safe Beaches in and around Auckland - The West Coast of New Zealand: how fantastic are those beaches? stormy, wave dumped beaches. Sand absorbing so much heat from the sun you can't walk on it in the summer. It's fine grains getting into the very fabric of your skin, between your toes, sanding you smooth. A black sand beach is a good beach, usually rocky and windswept and interesting. You don't *have* to have white sand to have a good beach. People round these parts seem to think a good beach is a beach that has white sand and no waves. I mean.. what the hell do you DO out there with no waves? what? swim? what? why? isn't that what a pool is for? A good beach is a beach with waves that _dump_ you. Suck you out and dump you back in again. A good beach is one where you can body surf all the way into the sand. A good beach is when you are out in the water and you turn to see three sets of _big_ waves coming to get you. A good beach is where you see all the shadowy shapes of god_knows_what in the wave just as it breaks over you and scares the living bejeezus out of you because they might be small sharks. A good beach is when you come in to fall exhausted on the warm black sand and taste the salt on your lips and the tingle of your muscles and bake until you have to jump into the water to cool off again. A good beach has the smell of burning drift wood in a stoney pit as the sun dips down below the horizon. A good beach has boulders that keep the heat so you can snuggle up as the light leaves and talk and cook fine-black-sandy-sausages in bread.

FQ3: Name three things that don't currently exist which you would be thankful for if they did. (beware: star trek trends ahead)

Teleportals - if I were a sound wave, this wouldn't be a problem as I believe they've [being those that know how] already managed to move a sound wave from point A to point B using such a device. [I may have dreamed this] But they're gonna need way more juice to get me where I want to go even though I have been described as Pure Sound.

Replicators - wouldn't it be great if you could *have* everything you need.. or wanted for that matter. We would no longer need advertising, or money for that matter. How cool would that be? you want it, here have it. Everything you need, you just concentrate on higher things like colouring-in, and love and eating good curry.

Time-speeder-upper/slower-downer - have you noticed how time does some weird stuff? How when you're waiting for something really really exciting like, oh I don't know.. Santa to come down your chimney, time just turns into molasses - thick and slow and not much fun. Then after Santa arrives and leaves you that awesome Tracey Island playset with fold down palm trees and diecast Thunderbird machines the day just whizzes by and before you know it it's Boxing Day and you have to leave all your toys behind and drive all the way to the beach puking in an icecream container. Yay for a New Zealand Summer!

FQ Thankful: Forget about thanking others, what's something everybody else should be thankful to YOU for?

Nearly everyone I know should be thankful that I take my worst behaviour out on those few people who are closest to me. If I'm mad at you, with my fists clenched and voice piercing.your.very.pores with the most articulate barbs you are one of two people in my life: The person I hate more than raw liver sandwiches, or the person I love beyond life itself. Crazy, huh? [ok there is a third type and that's the random strangers who piss me off but it's so rare it's not worth mentioning]