Jam: my lunch? this is

Jam: my lunch? this is just an empty plastic bag.
Greg: oh man, it must've fallen out *driving and grappling with things on the back seat*
Jam: *looking* i can lean back and pick the sandwiches up
Greg: *cringing* it wasn't sandwiches. Damn I bet it's.. it's fallen out hasn't it? the lid has fallen off.
Jam: what lid, what? *seeing* oh god it was spaghetti bolognase? *seeing the pile of spaghetti and sauce on the floor of the car*

Boss: So what are we going to call Marshall when he gets here?
Other Boss: You mean Job Title?
Boss: yes, his Job Title.
Jam: how about "Mr Marshall, Sir"
Rosie: how about "Love Muffin"

Greg: *pulling into the driveway* oh man, is that Amy?
Jam: yeh, and she's carrying something furry, oh god please don't let it be another kitten.
Greg: well if it is, it won't be for long.
Jam: mmm kitten for dinner *out of the car and talking to amy* you can't keep another pet
Amy: it's not a pet its a stray rabbit I had to save it there were cats after it. I'll put it in the hutch with my rabbit and then make a sign for the dairy in the morning.
Jam: *greg finding rabbit stew recipes* better make sure it's not a girl or you'll have 43 million more rabbits by the end of the week.
Amy: I checked, its a boy .. look *showing the rabbits disproportionately large testicles*
Jam: oh I hope you're right.
Amy: *puts large well endowed black rabbit in the cage with her large grey rabbit* ohmy god!!
Jam: what??
Amy: they keep humping each other oh god thats his head don't hump his head *trying to save the rabbits from each other*
Jam: are you SURE they are both male?
Amy: *looking at me like I'm the most stupid person to ever walk the earth* they're both trying to climb on top. They must be males.
Jam: so you're trying to tell me females never climb on top?
Amy: oh man they're at it again.. dirty..d irty rabbits. Oh god they're gay I have gay rabbits.. that's so disgusting.
Jam: why? they get to vent their sexual frustrations and we don't get to get rid of millions of baby rabbits. that's not disgusting, that's great!
Amy: oh god they're in the hutch now God only knows what they're doing in there. Actually, it's quite cool, I have homosexual rabbits. I rock.

Simon: Hey guess what.. I learned some sign language today look *signs*
Jam: *not looking eyes firmly fixed to the television* there is no way anything you can say is more important than Buffy and Spike getting it on for some dirty dirty vampire sex.
Simon: Buffy and Spike get it on??
[brief pause of sound and movement]
Simon: *powerwalking through the kitchen to the top of the stairs to yell down to his girlfriend* Jacqui.. come upstairs NOW, we're watching BUFFY!!

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