I got home today - tired - dog bone dead tired. Frustrations at work coupled with lack of sleep just wore me out. I lay on the couch and inhaled dinner, feet up, Shortland Street on, just _knackered_. The phone rang - Sonia - wants to go bowling. How perfect. We bowled at 8pm.. two frames.. I won [victory dance] and I hardly fell over at all. Then off to the Air Hockey table..then to the shot-em-out games.. then to pool.. then home for a natter. What a perfect end to a frustrating day/lastweek. I feel _so_ much better now. Cornflakes are best when soggy. ...later...'bout lunchtime... It's my mother's birthday on Saturday and I don't know what to get her. She seems to have everything. I will end up sending her flowers, I suppose, but then I always send her flowers and I'm not sure if she really thinks flowers are a very good idea. I mean, sure, if a guy you like sends you flowers at work you just can NOT get better than that, but your daughter? to your home? without an audience. Hmm. I need to think about this. I managed to lose a contact lens up under my eyelid last night. I don't mind sharing the discomfort with you incase you ever think that's a good place to store your lenses. I am using disposable lenses for a change. They work out about the same as permanent lenses price wise. On a scale of one to ten of the 'wanting to work' scale, with 1 being "not really" and 10 being "yes please", I am somewhere in the region of Alaska. ...much later...'bout bedtime... I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder if this is 'lonely' but then, I don't get lonely. I think it's more like 'missing you' than lonely. I wish I was smaller so I could curl up and become unnoticable when I feel like this. I sit in the middle though, always in the middle to see and be seen. I'm listening to The Bends, still, I think, my favourite Radiohead CD. Do you remember the video that accompanied Street Spirit? Was that the most amazingly moving surreal video ever made? I was fascinated by it. In fact, in my not-so-humble opinion, the videos that played to that CD were all stunningly good. OKomputer was good too but The Bends just.. had the perzact right ingredients. I don't talk about music much. Mostly because I just come off sounding like a dumbarse cos I just plain don't know much about music [i dont know much about Art, but i do like a gilt frame that doesn't gather much dust] and also because, with age, music loses that intense importance it has when you are younger. Today, Doctor John sent me a gel image. I'd never seen one before. Apparently, the white dashes show where and how intense the virus is.. or.. the virus shows up as white dashes.. like we see on TV when police/forensictypes are testing DNA. I printed it out and bluetacked it to my wall. I don't know why I wanted it, but I did and I'm glad I have it and I like the look of it. It was nice to be able to ask for the image and John just said 'yes' no.. strings no.. complications.. no.. just.. "yes, here we are michelle". From Canada to New Zealand, images of a virus. limb by limb and tooth by tooth tearing up inside of me everyday everyhour wish that I was bulletproof wax me mould me heat the pins and stab them in you have turned me into this just wish that I was bulletproof so pay me money take a shot lead-fill the hole in me i could burst a million bubbles all surrogate and bulletproof bulletproof by radiohead --------

I didn't love last week. It takes me a while to notice I am under too much pressure. Sure signs are the rest of my life falls apart.. or at the very least.. begins to frey. My flat was a tip: dishes unwashed, clothes all over the phone, towels unracked, coffee cups everywhere, mail unanswered, bills unpaid - arg.. i hate when that happens. Work's freying too, although that is less my fault and mistakes from the past coming home to roost. Speaking of Roosting.. I saw Chicken Run today. It was wonderful. Wonderful characters, great pace, goofy slapstick. Attention to detail complete to the last rivot and nail. True craftsmen made that movie. Bravo. It's been a weekend of movies, Rachelle and I finally got to see Titan AE together. *phew* and it was as impressive animationally (new word) as it was the first time. Just complete eye candy. Afterwards we followed Farah and Justin Long-Hair-Now-Short-Hair's advice and visited the Unitec Visual Communication Degree's Graduating Class Exhibition. It was just wonderful. The Content, the Display, the Talent, the Business Cards! My mind is all over the place and no where at the same time. I am loving my iBook. Loving it to dirty death. using it and using it. I love being able to take it with me, download mail at work onto my own computer and _know_ no one else is looking through it (there has been instances where mail is downloaded on my computer over the weekend and I didn't do it - grrr) It's especially good when, at the power station, and files are taking a while to upload, I can still do stuff - both work and private stuff - it's just so cool. When I finally do my homework/assignment its gonna be good too. Speaking of the Power Station, while I was there on Friday, Dean showed us his digital camera he is trying out. It's a beauty. Sony camera, besides taking very good quality digital images it can make 6 second mpegs too. So cool. Pricey at $2500. Wonderful for them though, much easier than taking stills with the video camera, and then capturing then putting them onto a disc after enhancing them. They really have been sold far too much equipment for their needs. *shaking my head* God help 'someone' the day they find out they didn't need it all. --------

I like soft jubes. --------