Do you ever have so much going on that you just can't.. do.. anything?

Over the course of Friday I made a list of what I needed to get done this weekend. I broke it down into hours - both of hours each task would take, and hours I was prepared to spend on each task for the bigger projects. My total was 14 hours for the weekend.

Sweet; no problem. I was going to dedicate my weekend to moving forward.

What did I do? Nothing.

Well not exactly nothing. Yes, on Saturday: nothing. Didn't even get out of my nightie!

Sunday I went to the French markets before dropping into the MINI Garage to test out a few MINI options. Yes, why not look at brand new cars while your jeans remain unhemmed at home, Michelle!

This afternoon I baked a sponge cake and, uncharacteristically, trashed the kitchen in the process.

When I was reading of ways to be French, one of the suggestions was to be your own Grand Aunt. The person in your life who gave you good advice and take you to high tea and generally be a tremendous support for you in your life.

Well my Grand Aunt seems to be an amphetamine addict with erratic compulsions and a desire to disappoint everyone.

For effs sake, the very last thing in the world I need is MORE CAKE! What I need is CLEAN LAUNDRY! and a few more BLOG POSTS!!

Ah well. Weekends are pretty short and the French Market really is a lovely way to start a Sunday. I would like to buy a brand new MINI but I am not really the kind of adult who is old enough to buy a new car.

Have a good week peoples: see you on the internets!

Tell me why you didn't achieve this KPI?

Because the stakeholder working group decided to move this project to next year. I couldn't achieve the KPI for this year on a project that was no longer within the time period. We did talk about it at the time and you agreed that the KPI would move to next year's development program.

Oh right, thanks.

Remind me, why didn't we do this KPI?

Because the project was moved to next year instead of this year. So we couldn't achieve the goad this year. But we will next year.

Oh right, thanks.

I know I've asked you this before, but why didn't you achieve this KPI?

Because the working committee moved the project by a year. So the KPI was no longer valid for this year.

Oh right, thanks.

Would you like me to put that in an email so you have it in writing?

No, no. That's okay. I've got it now.

Hey, hi.

Hi.

So this KPI here wasn't achieved.

That's right.

Can you tell me why?

Really?

Yeh, why didn't this get done?

The working committee moved the project to next year. So the KPI couldn't happen this year. Next year, it can be done when the project gets done.

Oh right. Thanks.

Remind me again why this KPI wasn't done?

I sent that to you in an email the last time you asked about this.

Oh I know, but just tell me. I'll find the email again later.

The project was moved from this year to next. So the KPI has had to move with it. No project this year, no KPI this year. Next year the project will be done and the key performance indicator will be achieved.

Right. Ok, thanks.

You've asked me about this quite often. Is there something about it you don't understand?

No, no. I understand it. I'm clear. That's great.

Okay.

My line manager wants to know why this KPI hasn't been achieved.

*stare*

Can you tell me why?

*stare*

See here where it says you were going to do this thing, and it wasn't done? Why is that?

*stare*

Can you hear me?

The stakeholder working committee decided that the project would be moved to next year, so the KPI couldn't be achieved because it's part of the project. Therefore it was not done this year. It will be done next year, when the project is done. You agreed that the KPI would shift from this year's development plan to next year's development plan.

Oh, right. Yes, I remember something about that.

Would you like me to resend the email with all the details.

Oh, no, I'll have it somewhere.

*resends email* would you like to have a chat about the KPI to be really clear on what happened?

No, no, I'm across it now.