This story about a cheese sandwich bearing the image of the Virgin Mary (looks more like Lillian Gish to me) reminded me of The Spanish Infanta's eyes. Percy: My Lord... Edmund: Yes, what is it? Percy: You know, they do say that the Infanta's eyes are more beautiful than ������ the famous Stone of Galveston. Edmund: Mm! ... What? Percy: The famous Stone of Galveston, My Lord. Edmund: And what's that, exactly? Percy: Well, it's a famous blue stone, and it comes (points dramatically) ������ from Galveston. Edmund: I see. And what about it? Percy: Well, My Lord, the Infanta's eyes are bluer than it, for a start. Edmund: I see. And have you ever seen this stone? Percy: (nods) No, not as such, My Lord, but I know a couple of people who ������ have, and they say it's very very blue indeed. Edmund: And have these people seen the Infanta's eyes? Percy: No, I shouldn't think so, My Lord. Edmund: And neither have you, presumably. Percy: No, My Lord. Edmund: So, what you're telling me, Percy, is that something you have never ������� seen is slightly less blue than something else you have never seen. pilfered from Blackadder - unofficial scripts page

The Ultimate Olympian - "Perhaps more worrying than anything I�ve mentioned so far is the fact that when Paula Radcliffe broke the world record in the marathon, she ran most of her 26 miles around two minutes faster than it takes me to run just one at the moment. And she�s a girl." more... Evertything is Wrong with Me - The thing is, it's so disarming that I can't even articulate properly. I'm usually calling about some big financial deal, and when she answers the phone with that sweet, sweet voice, I find myself stumbling, "Hi, um, Shannon. This is Jason Mulgrew, from, um, well, that's not important. I'm calling to see, well, how are you? That's rude of me, isn't it? Here I am going on and on about me, and I haven't even asked how you are doing. So, uh, how are you doing? You know, I can neither see nor smell you, but I'm sure you look and smell great today. Not that I don't want to see or smell you. Do you have any plans to visit New York anytime soon? Have I ever told you that I'm kinda famous on the internet?" more... Find the G Spot - ..your challenge will be to find my G-Spot. Make the right moves and I will be nice, poke around in the wrong places and I will get mad. Start out where you think the g-spot is located and see if you can find it. I'm not in the mood to offer a tutorial, but I will let you know if you are heading the wrong direction. more... (it's the artwork burned.on.my.retina!) Scaryduck- Ah, Kate, how do we love you? It's a well-known fact that Berkshire-born actress Kate Winslet has got her baps out in every single film she has worked on, including the ones where the script stipulated that she remain fully clothed, the filthy slattern. But that's what you get when you come from a part of Reading where nudity is virtually obligatory in her part of town. They've even built a block of flats in her honour down the Oxford Road, with a removable roof. more...

"look.. the NetGuide has an article on blogging and lists all these kiwi blogs and mines not in here" "let me see" *scanning the pages* "James has both his in there, and there's triplux, and norightturn.. but no jamjar" "well" *finished scanning* "of course not" "of course not? why not?" "because it's not a list of the 10 Most Ghey Blogs"

**POST UPDATED** "I never meant *that*, I meant the LIST in the NetGuide was a list of the Most Ghey Blogs, THAT'S why your blog wasn't mentioned" "well that's not what I heard, I blogged what I heard" "look, if i was gonna hassle you i would have put a little more effort into it. why would i say *anything* like that, it was *so* complex it's like using "not not not" in a sentence canceling each other out. it's like playing monopoly, now *that's* complex, you have to like - *think*" "oh.. well..I guess I heard wrong" "i was trying to make you feel better" "well, I can see that *now*" "you just say utter *bollocks* in your blog."