Technically speaking

If I were younger and angrier - mostly younger, I think - the rant I have inside me would not be contained. As it is: it is contained. Mostly. Deep inside. It's down there thinking about whether it's better to remove the lining from my stomach and develop a juicy stomach ulcer or burrow deep into my bowel to later metastasise into a series of self destructing cell mutations.


1) saying "I'm not technical" is a stupid thing to say - espcecially in the context of doing stuff that *isn't* technical but does have to do with doing YOUR JOB which is to check that the documents are accessible by CLICKING ON THEM not just sending through a bunch of links so I have to work it the FUCK OUT. Don't stand there and accuse me of "not being logged in" when a) I was fucking logged in and b) I didn't need to be! and c) you didn't even check the god damned links worked in the first place!

2)  saying "I'm not technical" is a stupid thing to say - when you close a document you didn't save and expect me to swarmie it up from the ghosts of your RAM. If you lose a document because you didn't SAVE IT in the first place, or during any of the time for the last SIX HOURS that you worked on it, you're not getting that puppy back no matter how fricking TECHNICAL you are. Oh yes, you're all "technical" enough to say think everything in the world auto-saves everything though, aren't you?

3)  saying "I'm not technical" is a stupid thing to say - in a world where you need to know how to work the box that holds the electronics that run the software that you said you were competent with when you took this job but really you need to annoy a colleage or ring the service help desk every time you want to create a FUCKING TABLE in a document! or change the colour of one of the cells! or change the orientation of a page! or print to the fucking COLOUR PRINTER!


plus (unrelated but just as fury driving) 4) saying "If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear." is simplistic and moronic so just stop saying it.


These feelings are all very deep down and none of the emotion that binds it down there lets anything much escape to the surface. Like being pecked to death by ducks, these nips of haplessness build up from far too many sources until eventually, the turkeys will have won and I will be ground down completely.

(one more thing)

Please, if you have gaps in your knowlege (as we all do) if you have to use some software every day that you never really got the hang of? please get the hang of it. Do some courses through your work or find some online. There is a time that is rapidly coming when declaring yourself to "not be technical" will be like saying "I can't read" and try doing your job in a knowledge/technological industry with that deficit.

(look I'm still going)

It's not good enough to just know how to do your job as it states in your job description anymore. You need to know how things work, and how they fit together. You need to be aware of the tools available out there and how and when to use them. You need to bring your creative brain, your artistic brain, your problem solving brain with you to your desk. Sitting in your cubicle and hen-pecking paragraphs is something a Mechanical Turk can do - you need to be more valuable than that or you will find it difficult to compete when we finally get our mythical digital natives.

(okay now I'm done)