It is here that I admit, once and for all, that yes: I am a time traveler.
There have been suspicions for some time now - a few inquiring minds have poked around and thrown a few unsubstantiated accusations in my direction. While they have failed to come up with any solid proof of my activities, all it seems they had to do was wait for me to slip up. And slip up I have.
I'm not going to get into a lot of detail about the nuts and bolts of how I travel in time - suffice it to say that in this instance I had a few too many drinks at Spleen this coming weekend. This meant that when I arrived back at 'current date plus one day' I miscalculated and ended up in Thursday (actual 'current date') instead. Which is probably fitting punishment for me trying to avoid Thursday in the first place.
Correct: Time can be confusing most of the times (because Time is concurrent but I'm not getting into that right now either).
So good on you to the eagle eyes who spotted the clues to the fact I'd missed my target by a whole day: wearing casual clothes to work when it wasn't 'casual Friday'; posting my Friday-dated video with an unadjusted time stamp on Thursday; anticipating Dave's gig at Vibe after work a whole 24+ hours early; a slew of clues for you tenacious busy-bodies out there.
I should've just issued a media release.
So the future: I do spend a bit of time there - but not as far forward as you might imagine. That's mostly because I've seen further into my future and it's a bit shit, to tell the truth.
Oh the Earth is mostly okay - I'm pre-empting the question the Greenies amongst you will want to ask. The planet is still holding together as far as I've seen. It hobbles along despite our best efforts to wreck it completely. It's cobbling together an atmosphere (mostly) and still managing to produce enough food to feed a large proportion of us. It's not great food, and a lot of it is synthetic - but it does the job. Good news is the population dropped off enough for us to cope the ones left behind.
Oh yeh, the Scientologists: turned out they were *actually* scientists. Who knew? I don't know all the details because I skipped ahead a bit but turns out Admiral T. Cruise wasn't as green as he was cabbage looking when he bought those plots of land on the Moon. Building Suri (the lunar base station) is how they managed to get 'off world' and get most of their brethren to Titan.
It's a funny old turn of events.
Back to me
So mostly I just jump forward to the next weekend and have a good time. After all, what else would you do if you had the technology? I generally pop back to 'current date' (my own time-line) after my weekend so I can maintain some sort of cohesive life-stream. Plus I get a couple of weekends per week which is a) great and b) the reason I'm wrecked most of the time and c) maintain my mayorships.
But sometimes, slip-ups happen, such as this latest, rather public one. I blame these accidents on the small control panels of the time mechanism (it wasn't design in Cupertino) combined with my fat fingers coupled with a liberal splash of gherkin juice. This all culminates in me not always hitting the dates and times I aim for.
Oh right, I haven't told you the story about the gherkins yet - it'll make sense when you read that story somewhere down the track (sorry can't remember the exact date I published that - they were vodka infused gherkins: say no more! but stay tuned - it might make sense in the end).
I've already said more than I had intended. Understand I have no further comment on the subject of my extra-chronicular activities.
In closing though, I just want to award the eagle-eyed busy-bodies their point. They may have won this round, but know this snoopers: it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.