F Bombs

He said "I've tagged you in a meme."
She said "You did not."
He said "Hmhmm I did."
She mumbled something under her breath.
He chuckled.
She groaned and sighs "What do I have to do?"
He said "Well, the first thing you need to do, is post the rules to your blog."
She groaned again "Oh for fuck sakes, there are rules? plural?"
He said "Yup, just a couple. C'mon, rules are good - what are you always saying? Creativity loves constraint?"
She looked at him.
He cocked his eyebrow.
She sighs "Okay, what are they?"
He explained "The first rule of this meme is that you must post the rules of this meme to your blog."
She stared at him blankly "Do not do that Fight Club thing."
He rolled his eyes "As if I would!" and cursed silently under his breath, another chance to make a movie reference down the drain.
She moved him on "Ahem, you were telling me the rules?"
He continued "Oh yeh, the meme involves sharing six non-important things or habits or quirks about yourself."
She asked "Non-important?"
He nodded "Non-important."
She wondered "Are there even 6 non-important things about me?" She thinks for a moment.
He said "It's easy!"
She said "It's not easy - I can't think of 6 non-important things about me! listen - Thinks:I love peas - realises that's an important piece of information therefore ineligible. Thinks ah:furniture placement needs to be based on a grid and at the right angles to each other - very fucking important for one's feng shui and general directional relationality with the universe therefore - not a non-important point for the meme. Thinks:always carrying reading-matter, notebooks, pens and crayons in my bag - extremely important! and therefore you-know-what! see? even minor Michelle things like having stuff to scribble on while trying to explain stuff at the pub is miles from non-important. I can't think of any non-important things about me! I can't possibly do this meme."
He said "Sure you can!"
She said "I can't! I can't even think of 1 non-important thing about you let alone six! How the hell did you manage it?"
He said "Well, I was easy - I put stuff like my abysmal exam results in Form 7 oh and the mole on my chest."
She perked up a bit "You have a mole on your chest?"
He nodded "Yep, just under my collarbone - my mum had one too, in the same place, it's a freaky family heirloom."
She teased "You shared a mole with your mother? Did she have a hairy chest too?"
He growled something about not being cheeky about his mum, so she moves on.
She asked "Is that all? blog the rules and write 6 non-important things?"
He said "Then you have to tag people and leave a comment on their blogs so they know they've been tagged."
She threw her arms up in the air "Arrrggg I hate taggin' people!"
He said "Settle down! You only have to tag three."
She whined "Three?? I only know three and you're one of them and you've already done the poxy thing!"
He said "Is there anything you do in your normal daily life you don't complain about??"
She frumps and crosses her arms, mumbling "Stupid bloody memes."
Exasperated, he gave up "Look, you don't have to do it, I just thought you'd like to have a chance at some written content for your blog."
She frumped a bit more and says "But you tagged me."
He said "Yeh well it wasn't a Court Order or anything. Do what you like." Her whining is starting to get on his nerves.
She sulked for a while longer then mumbled something under her breath.
He asked what it is.
She said "Ok, I'll do it."
He brightened a little and said "There you go."
She said "But I won't enjoy it!"
He smiled "No. I know. But if it's any consolation..."
She looked at him.
He grinned "We probably won't either."

Poxy Meme: or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the game.. or something.

  1. I like cutting raw liver and/or kidney - I love the texture as the knife cuts through the organ - though I don't like eating them at all - cooked or otherwise.

  2. I don't find Monty Python particularly funny - and Fawlty Towers makes me cry - don't try to convince me otherwise or I'll make you cry.

  3. While I can't remember my current telephone number, or my mobile number, or work's phone number, or my Post Office Box number, or my bank customer number - I can remember my family's phone number when I was 10 - I used to have to answer it "86404, Shelley Park speaking..." yes 5 digits.. shut up!

  4. Scrambled words confuse me - questions asking if "noldon" is a city, a country or a continent stumps me - I just skip those ones in IQ tests. Naturally, I find games such as Scrabble difficult.

  5. I don't mind if socks are odd but I do mind if socks are smelly.

  6. I avoid any contact with caterpillars and butterflies as they they smell yukky - maybe it's their socks.