How did he know?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I'm afraid I had to name you "Underachiever of the Month" for September, Aries. You didn't quite succeed at wrestling your frustrations into submission, though you had the power to do so. You also failed to cash in on much of the great potential you had for smashing injustice, exposing fakery, and toppling the rotting status quo. That's the bad news. The good news is that some of your
missed opportunities will become available again in the coming week. Make up for lost time, please.

[i know i know.. post in progress.. any minute now *spoiler* may or may not involve giant squid - stay tuned]