Not a Movie Review

You can take the boy out of the pizza place, but you can't take the pizza place out of the boy. Berg's been using the Abdominiser or Windsor Pilates or something cos he's got himself a six-pack and some ultra violet hollow-points and he's not afraid to use them. Well okay, he may not be afraid to use them but he prefers his fists to bullets being the kung-fu funny-guy he is. Couple of times he could've done with Pete to help him out but all and all, he is well versed enough with the word "fuck" to get by just fine.

I'm not sure if Jessica Biel's dad knows what she's doing these days but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't approve of the music she's downloading (from Apple iTunes Store?) and listening to while she kicks vampire butt. Her hair is at least tied up sometimes and her hips are lookin' pretty snazzy in brown leather. She's pretty handy with a bow and arrow too, you know, for a preacher's daughter. She plays Whistler's daughter "out of wedlock", dontcha know. and um, by the by.. didn't Whistler die in the first movie? God I hate Kris Kristofferson. How made up is that name anyway. Get a hair cut and stay dead would ya.

It's so nice to see Apple supporting the fight against vampires. Between the flat cinema displays, the G4 Powerbooks and the iPods we WILL win this fight!! I really liked it when Jessica Biel tossed a Windows Laptop at a vampire - that's my kind of fighting!

One note though, and these are words to live by, not just for fighting the good-fight where vampires are concerned: If you need to keep a watch on the closed circuit TV surveillance monitoring the perimeter of your secret hide-away, don't roster the blind girl on - she's gonna miss stuff.

Turns out the Numero Uno vampire is just some dude called Drake. He has a really bad hare-lip and leather pants that match his demonic skin. Who'da guessed.

Have you noticed that large lips are the new black this season? [Zach Braff, Garden State; Emily Browning, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events] and Wesley's are the biggest in the business. God they make Angelina Jolie look like she needs a collagen shot.. STAT! he's getting old, that Blade.. looks a bit hefty, you know? Not quite as snappy on the "get up" when he crashes through skylights and his gadgets are all looking a bit like they were made at Mattel's KMart division. And what's with the blue motor cycle?

Blade Trinity is weak.

If you have the choice between The Incredibles and Blade Trinity.. go the animated former and leave the memories of Blade untainted by skipping this latest installment.