On a "need to know" Basis

Supermarket Conversation

Michelle: What sort of condoms? extra safe, extra thick, extra small?
Amy: *exasperated* mum.
Michelle: Well, ribbed?
Amy: I prefer the studded ones actually but I can never find them.
Michelle: *hits head against condom shelf and groans* "Conversations I Thought I'd Never Have With My Daughter"

Car Conversation:

Michelle: Am I a good mother?
David: *shrugs* I dunno
Michelle: Are you scared of me?
David: Nope.
Michelle: Amy said she's scared of me.
David: Amy isn't scared of you, she just doesn't like you. And that's cos you're a good mother.
Michelle: Oh.
David: Look, it's not your fault Amy's dumb, it was Dad's sperm afterall.

Lounge Conversation

David: *going for his 42nd helping of Pringles Original* you've addicted me to these, damn you woman!