Me: *dials Doreen's phone number*
Him: Hello, Rob speaking.
Me: ahh.. is Doreen there please?
Him: Sorry, no Doreen here.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry I must've misdialed.
Him: Well, ah, what who, what's your name?
Me: My name?
Him: Yes, your name.
Me: My name is Michelle.
Him: Well, Michelle, I'm Rob, an independant contractor would you be interested in completing a short 5 minute IRD survey?
Me: Oh, god, I reallly *did* misdial didn't I!
Him: It'll only be 5 minutes, help an independent contractor with kids to feed and bills to pay.
Me: Okay, go on then, only cos I'm a contractor too and you have a cute Austrailan accent.
Him: Okay then, I'm going to put you down in the "25-35" age group, Michelle.
Me: ahh, you'd be wrong. I'm 41.
Him: 41? no way. I'm going to put you down as 37.
Me: Well that's a great way to start the survey.
Him: OK, Michelle, what do you think of tax codes in New Zealand today? Do you think they are Fair, Unfair? [the question was more complicated than that but i can't remember it now]
Me: Wow, you really picked the wrong person to ask - I am completely hopelessly stupid in this area.
Him: Can I ask, what do you do for a living Michelle?
Me: I'm in contract work too, I work as a Digital Media Designer.
Him: Really? do you design websites?
Me: Yeh, I do that kind of thing.
Him: Lets throw this survey away. Would you make a website for me and I'll help you learn a bit more about New Zealand tax.
Me: Sure, I can make a website for you but I'm not doing it for nothing.
Him: Oh I'll pay you. Do you like steak or white meat, Michelle.
Me: ah, I'm a bit of a carnevore I eat most meat.
Him: brilliant, maybe I can take you out to dinner and we could talk about it.
Me: I guess we could meet, so long as you're not a psychopath or anything.
Him: Well, I'll tell you I'm not a psychopath. I'm a guy who loves to socialise. I'm a guy who likes to buy the first round. Who loves his friends to be happy.
Me: Well that sounds all well and good.
Him: Tell me about yourself Michelle.
Me: ah, what do you want to know?
Him: Tell me Michelle, what has been the best day in your life so far.
Me: The best day of my life so far?
Me: I don't know how to answer that but the first thing that pops into my mind is arriving in Rome and being tired and grumpy - because I get tired, and i'm always grumpy - walking around all day and having walked up all these great white steps at a huge monument and getting to the top and realising I was looking over the Forum and there was the Colessium and thinking it was the most beautiful unexpected sight.
Him: Isn't Rome wonderful.
Me: Yes, it truly is. I spent two weeks there it was wonderful.
Him: And tell me Michelle, did you find romance in Rome?
Me: Yes, yes I did.
Him: Good. 1, 2 4? how many?
Me: ONE! and a couple of flirtations.
Me: I never get tired of hearing "ciao bella" from good looking Italian men.
Him: You sound like a woman of the world, Michelle.
Me: I do?
Him: I bet you're very social and go out a lot and have lots of friends.
Me: I'm a recluse, actually, that's why I work in the field I do.
Him: Then you must be because of some great pain or hurt. It's not your natural state.
Me: Well I might be getting over years of working for other people and the pain involved in that.
Him: Well, Michelle, what would you like, my email address so you can send me your contact details, or would you like me to come over right now and whisk you off for dinner?
Me: Ah, I think your email details'll be just fine, thanks.
Him: Are you sure? a carnivore such as yourself might need a good piece of steak for dinner tonight.
Me: Thanks but I have someone coming over for dinner and if you whisk me away for steak I won't be here to let him in and he'll get cold.
Him: fair enough. Do you have a pen Michelle? good, here're my details.
Me: *writing down his name* that's your surname? that's almost exactly the surname of the woman i was dialing.
Him: wrong name out of the phone book?
Me: No, i have a cellphone number, i misdialed it by one digit.
Him: Send me an email Michelle, we'll have dinner.
Me: *dials Doreen's phone number*