Pop Quiz, asshole. You get home. You're tired. There's hardly any food in the house. If you don't eat as quickly as possible you're body will consume it's own muscle mass and then it's all downhill from there.
What do you do? What_do_you_do?
Throw a big pot of water on the stove to boil. In the time it takes your spaghetti to cook (ie: 10 minutes) you can cook up onions and peppers in olive oil to make the most scrumptious "oh-my-god-I'm-starving-if-I-don't-eat-soon-I'll-starve-to-death" dinner. That's it really.. cook the onions and peppers in lots of olive oil til the caramalise, then pour over the cooked and drained pasta and throw plenty of black pepper and parmesan cheese at it.
or you could shoot the hostage - but seeing as Jeff Daniels could never make up his mind which leg had the bullet in it, I think we'll just stick with the pasta.