Entering The Boy Zone -

Entering The Boy Zone - TOILET HABITS

I have a need to mention a subject I've never discussed on this website before. We have lots of names for it: poo, (yes, I am going to list them) poop, shit, turds, crap, bowel movements, Number Twos. Fecal Matter (actually thinking I wished Fecal meant something different cos I kinda like the way it sounds).

Girls do it. We all know that because Humans dispose of bodily waste in the same way whether they're boys or girls. But boys talk about it and girls never seem to. I mean, they shit roses*, right? Lord knows, a girl'd never "pass wind" in public whereas follow any group of men down the road and they could be tracked by any retired senile olfactory specialist with a cold. Girls poo. Boys poo. The only real thing that makes them different is, that girls tend to clean up after their business. Toilet-bowl-wise. And I tend to think guys wouldn't generally worry about "skid marks" in the bowl.

So, it is a with surprise that I find in our toilets here at work - and on more than one occasion, I might add - that there are Large Animal Like Skid Marks in the bowl of the middle loo. Not Petite-Blonde-Marketing type skid marks but as if a rather large bucket of quite perfectly formed and packed stools were dropped into the toilet from some considerable height. Given the length and detail and consistancy of the marks on the white ceramic surface of the toilet bowl. (been watching too many forensic tv shows again, michelle?) I'd say there's a Bear living on our floor of the building.

*on telling Simon this well known piece of information, he screwed his nose up and said "ow, what about the thorns?"

PS: I went to the bathroom to pee. FYI.