ARIES (March 21-April 19): It's Reinvent Your Persona Week, Aries. To stimulate your imagination, pretend it's Halloween for the next seven days. Today, dress up as a skanky biker chick or dude. Tomorrow, be a transgendered Bulgarian princess in exile. In the days after that, be a snake-dancer, drag-racer, CIA agent, professional wrestler, and rodeo clown. Don't just get creative; get outrageously creative. APRIL FOOL! While it *is* a perfect time to reinvent your persona, and while it's wise to inject more wildness and badness into your style, there's no need to indulge in random experimentation. You already know exactly which way to go.
I guess something should be said.. being it's my birthday and all. I am uncommonly lost for words - so I'll use those sent to me:
Your lucky number is 3.14159265
Your secret name is Squeeze
The colors of your soul are diamond-hatched and marbled blue
Your special emotion is skeptical faith
The garage sale item you most resemble is an old but beautiful and sonorous accordion with a broken key
Your magic smell is candy skulls being crushed on graves by dancing feet
Your holiest pain comes from your ability to sense other people's cracked notions about you
Your sacred fungus is yeast
Your special time of day is the moment just before the mist evaporates
The shape of your life is oval with soft dark sparks
Your lucky phobia is epienopopontonphobia, or fear of crossing the wine-dark sea
Your power spot is here and there and everywhere
The flavor which identifies you most is grapefruit smeared with honey
key for the Instructionally Obscure: your = me
RULES TO LIVE BY:
Never put anything in your mouth that isn't delicious
If you go down, go big or go home
Don't go places... ARRIVE (new one and already a classic)
Never shake a pizza
Listen to your instinct
When you think it, say it.
If it's worth doing, truly, it's worth doing well
Don't put it down, put it away
See a weed, pull a weed
A Place for everything, everything in it's place
ps: we all know these are to aspire to and the writer knows she fails at all of them often - except Number 2.
When you fall off your horse/bike/wagon/boyfriend climb right back up.
and like television.. here's a repeat cos it's just so darn'd funny - from Wednesday, August 14, 2002 ::
Greg: *pulling into the driveway* oh man, is that Amy?
Jam: yeh, and she's carrying something furry, oh god please don't let it be another kitten.
Greg: well if it is, it won't be for long.
Jam: mmm kitten for dinner *out of the car and talking to amy* you can't keep another pet
Amy: it's not a pet its a stray rabbit I had to save it there were cats after it. I'll put it in the hutch with my rabbit and then make a sign for the dairy in the morning.
Jam: *greg finding rabbit stew recipes* better make sure it's not a girl or you'll have 43 million more rabbits by the end of the week.
Amy: I checked, its a boy .. look *showing the rabbits disproportionately large testicles*
Jam: oh I hope you're right.
Amy: *puts large well endowed black rabbit in the cage with her large grey rabbit* ohmy god!!
Amy: they keep humping each other oh god thats his head don't hump his head *trying to save the rabbits from each other*
Jam: are you SURE they are both male?
Amy: *looking at me like I'm the most stupid person to ever walk the earth* they're both trying to climb on top. They must be males.
Jam: so you're trying to tell me females never climb on top?
Amy: oh man they're at it again.. dirty..d irty rabbits. Oh god they're gay I have gay rabbits.. that's so disgusting.
Jam: why? they get to vent their sexual frustrations and we don't get to get rid of millions of baby rabbits. that's not disgusting, that's great!
Amy: oh god they're in the hutch now God only knows what they're doing in there. Actually, it's quite cool, I have homosexual rabbits. I rock.
Simon: Hey guess what.. I learned some sign language today look *signs*
Jam: *not looking eyes firmly fixed to the television* there is no way anything you can say is more important than Buffy and Spike getting it on for some dirty dirty vampire sex.
Simon: Buffy and Spike get it on??
[brief pause of sound and movement]
Simon: *powerwalking through the kitchen to the top of the stairs to yell down to his girlfriend* Jacqui.. come upstairs NOW, we're watching BUFFY!!
again, key for the Instructionally Obscure: this time, Jam = me