I did - I yelled at the screen.
KEVIN!
I yelled.
Of course, he didn't hear me - he was on the telly-vision hosting KiwiFruit. (that's a horrible photo of him btw - splattered tshirt guy)
Surprised and delighted to see the fabulous Kevin Alexander on the TV screen. Yes, I knew him before he could foodge!
Best line from Kevin before I saw him on the tv: He slammed his leg up on the table, his boot huge and worn (but in a fashionable way) on the table in front of me. "Big Foot" I said.. he said "you know what *that* means" and I looked at him and smiled and he said "yup.. HUGE cock!"
Best line from Kevin on the Tv: *dressed in lederhosen and playing with a particularly thick salami* "Summer holidays in Winter destinations - so hot right now."
I know, he wouldn't remember me now - afterall, it was a long drunken night that started with his boot and ended up with a foodge session and I was wearing a cardigan. Cardigans have a habit of obliterating memories. But I still have tapes of his voice.. somewhere... [stalker music]
Read MoreGiant Jelly Fush
We have talked in the past about Giant Squids and their lack of hand-eye co-ordination when it comes to lovemaking. We have also talked about JellyFish. So it seems that it is time to draw these loose threads together in the glorious topic of Giant JellyFish.
Did you know there exist jellyfish that are 7 feet wide? The biggest one ever had 120-foot-long squidly tentacle bits.
I think there should, like, be a law against jellyfish getting that large, especially since they are not exactly the most intelligent of creatures.
While I have your attention, I would also like to draw it towards the website for a restaurant that is in downtown Auckland and is very nice thank you very much, only I suspect the graphic designer should have kept a tighter grip on the access to editing the site:

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Back in the day, when I went to school - you know, way back when we'd have to walk 10 miles barefoot in the snow for the privilege of an education? that's right! and by the time we got to school we were too tired and hungry to learn, so the teacher used to read us stories. Yeh, Back in the Day.
My teacher, Miss Klitcher, read us The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe when I was in Standard Three. That would have made me about 9 years old. I remember her sitting on a chair at the front of the class reading each day - a chapter maybe, who knows, I was too busy hanging on every word.
I loved that story. I loved it so much, the very first chance I got to get my hands on that book I did. And I read it. Then I read it again. Over and over. By the time I got to McKillop College, aged 11, I had read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe nearly a dozen times.
I was so excited when I heard that they were making a movie of the book. I was never a Tolkien fan, and I've only read one of the Harry Potter books, so I've not had the investment in the worry of a book-to-movie before. And to be fair, worry is too strong a word. I wasn't worried as much as looking forward to see how the story would look on the big screen and secretly hoping no one would muck it up.
Andrew Adamson was to direct the film and I was pleased about that. I base that pleasure only on the fact he made Shrek and I thought Shrek was a great story, and the fact he was a kiwi - really, I am clueless as to who makes good movies and who doesn't. But surely, filming it in New Zealand, and having a sensible kiwi male direct the action, that's a great start. Not to mention The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is a bloody good tale.
I have never said what I am about to say about a movie before. It's a cliche, but I don't care. That movie, Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, was exactly as my inner 9 year old remembers it as she hung on Miss Klitcher's every word. The coats, the lampost, the beavers dam, the scary Ice Queen, the turkish delight, the fluttering flags on the tents as the army camped, the stone alter, the mice on the ropes, Cair Parvel - everything.
I have no intention of re-reading the Chronicles. I like the way my childhood memories are stored and don't want my adult-self seeing past the magic - and Andrew Adamson has already captured those images from my memory perfectly. Perfectly.
If you loved the book and have an inner 9 year old tucked away inside you somewhere, I hope you love the movie as much as I did.
PS and off topic: the 2002 Old Jam link below takes you to the best blogpost this site ever produced. Ever. If you're interested. which you should be, cos it's the best blog post this site ever produded ev0r!
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