hi hiya, what can I do for you today? I was going to invite you out for dinner tonight. Oh, nice.. that sounds nice. I'm going to Mum's for dinner. You're inviting me to dinner with your mother? Well, *laughs* no. So, you're calling me to tell me you were going to invite me out to dinner but now you're not? Ah, yeh. Right. She has lambchops!

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/index.cfm?c_id=1&ObjectID=10341147 list of criteria for a 111 call

• having a work car for the weekend and returning it with a smashed-in window
• saying "I love oysters" in front of manager, manager's manager and two other colleagues and stunning them all for several seconds
• meeting and sharing delicious food with an internet stranger - and surviving to tell the tale - or not, as the case may be
• is giving still generous if you recount every penny in detail everytime?

they sound like School Certificate English story-writing options. See how you go.. they're worth 25% each.