Assholes in the comments

I’ve never understood why people leave mean comments on articles and blog posts. I understand expressing a point of view, an opinion, adding, correcting or updating information* but calling the author foul names and threatening them personally is just beyond my ability to understand.

Haven’t you heard that people don’t read or scroll anymore? that the content has to be compelling to get those eyeballs on the page in the first place? When I read an article I don’t like, I don’t read until the end; I’m the one who moves away from the article. I close my browser tab and go somewhere else. Who are these people who read an article just to weigh in with threats of rape and harm and challenging the intelligence and parentage of the writer?

Now that’s not happening around here. You, dear one, are my only reader. I write only for you and it’s okay that you only sometimes leave a comment. I know you’re there and that’s enough for me.

The nonsense I’m talking about is something that popular writers suffer from. Good writers. Those who stir up emotions. I guess that might be why one can’t always expect those emotions to be compassion or empathy or joy or good will to all people. But why can’t I expect those emotions to be shared with passion and respect?

Now, I don’t read comments on articles as a rule. Dang it, I barely ever read past a headline and the first sentence! But I do read a few really good writers all the way through and Emily Writes is one of them. You don’t know Emily “Please don’t call me the Tarzan Woman.” Writes? She wrote the review about the Tarzan movie last year that was super funny and really popular.

She wrote another really funny one about Idris Elba's Valentine’s Day campaign* a few days ago and the comments weren’t all kind or encouraging or supportive.

"Here lies Emily Writes. Cause of death: Idris Elba saying "That's right love".
She died doing what she loved. Honestly look at this perfection. It actually caused me to melt into a puddle. It's amazing I can type. I spontaneously combusted. I am ashes.
What would it be like to date Idris Elba? “ 

I woke up the morning after she published the piece to read that she had removed her Idris blog post from her blog. She also talked about all the negativity she encounters in the comment threads of her articles. 

And I’m so disappointed that after 20 years of comments this shit is still going on. This used to happen in the olden days of the blog world and it’s just rubbish that it’s still happening and we still haven’t grown up enough to manage it.

I also don’t think that suggesting that taking blog posts down, closing comments off, ignoring the haters, moving off Facebook/Blogspot/moving URLs/having someone else moderate your comments should be the answer. Why bully good writers underground or into gated paywalled communities? 

Can you just for a minute imagine that hot horrible feeling you get when someone is talking about you and saying something mean? Can you now imagine that – 10 times a day?
It’s relentless.
And yes, I feel shit that I took down the post when other people like it. And yes, I feel like the mean people won. They did. But also, what can I do?
Emily Writes

Emily says she has lots of positive commenters. Lots of people who leave thoughtful, productive comments. It’s having to wade through the sewerage of abuse to get to them that gets her feeling really bad about herself and her writing.

How do we go about protecting our precious content creators? I know that the abusive commenters aren’t going anywhere. They love the attention. What can we do? 

Associated links:

Bedtime story to put you to sleep

Last night was stormier than I can ever remember here in Auckland. Today driving around completing errands, I saw quite a few broken branches and fallen trees. As I typed that I think I need to say “by Auckland standards” because there are other people in New Zealand who still haven’t had their electricity reinstated after this weather bombed the country.

My plan for Sunday was to run three errands - quick local stops to get a few purchases done - then back home to put my feet up on the coffee table and noodle around on the internet while the tennis from Melbourne played on the television.

Sounds great huh?

Day didn’t go to plan. Oh the errands happened, but they took so much longer than planned that by the time I got home it was so late it was time to start thinking about dinner. 

Errand One: BYOD

Two of my grand daughters are at the stage of their school life where they are required to bring a computing device to school. We bought the elder one a Chromebook at PB Tech’s big sale. Isn’t it amazing that we can buy laptops that connect to the internet for ~$300. Oh sure we can still spend kagillions on computers if we want to - but we don’t have to to access the Internet. The old iPad will be my younger grand daughter’s device for school. It’s an older iPad so we bought her a blue-tooth keyboard for it and she’s one happy little clam.

Errand Two: Royal Doulton

We have a homewares store here in New Zealand called Briscoes. It’s known for it’s constant sales and cheap house accessories. Kind of uncharacteristically though, it stocks the Royal Doulton 1815 range. I have a few pieces and really like the range so wanted to pick up a couple of cereal bowls. Get in; get out - that was the plan. As I made my way to the counter with my new bowls, I took a detour past the Jamie Oliver boards and tapas collection and noticed a battered box on the bottom shelf. It was an open, hammer box with Jamie’s pasta maker inside. Turns out it was a display model so reduced by 60% so now I have a new pasta maker!

Errand Three: Supermarket

Thank goodness this was an “in and out” errand. I had a list - I stuck to it - and it didn’t take long at all.

Now it’s late in the evening and I’m updating you on my Sunday while Superman vs Batman is on the TV. 

Last week was a low energy, poor health week for me. I had a few days off work due to a sore throat and general sickliness. I’m feeling good now,  looking forward to work tomorrow and for the week. It’s the last week of our sprint so it’s heads down and focus on getting our stories completed by next weekend.

I’m not sure I could have made this update any more uninteresting actually. Other things happened during those errands, and when I sat down to tell them to you I was sure you were going to enjoy reading. But it seems my energy isn’t where it needs to be, so I shall say good night instead.

Turned out that it was all a dream

I keep looking at The Jamjar's calendar (over there in the righthand column) and thinking how lovely it looks all clean and uncluttered by the grey squares that indicate published posts. Nice attitude, Michelle. That calendar would look ah-mazing if it was peppered with grey boxes showing lots of posts you dingbat!

Perspective: I haven’t it.

The Auckland Botanical Gardens have lots of signs and this one asked people not to cut the harakeke (flax) and I felt the same way.

The Auckland Botanical Gardens have lots of signs and this one asked people not to cut the harakeke (flax) and I felt the same way.

Welcome to the New Year people! and to the first of my Sunday Updates for the year.

When I wrote Resolve at the end of last year, I was all ready to write this update and let you know how far along I’d got with my moving and eating and reading etc.

Then I did nothing over my holiday break. I’m not even joking.

One Tuesday I spent the entire day in my PJs with the curtains closed, on YouTube watching varieties of “50 Things You Didn’t Know About Harry Potter” or similar. And no, I didn’t just restrict that kind of YouTubing to that Tuesday. Did you know that there are people out there who actually think that Snape is a vampire, or that the entire Harry Potter story is a figment of Harry’s imagination? An imaginary character’s imaginary universe. Elaborate theory but understandable for a boy who lived under the stairs in a house with abusive relatives.

Today I’ve been out for a walk at the Auckland Botanic Gardens and made some pikelets upon my return. One might think that sounds okay until I admit that I was planning on vacuuming and then making scones! Plans? I has them. Stick to them I don’t.

My sleeping habits were terrible over the break too. Drinking too much coffee, staying up late then sleeping in too long into the day just ruins a heck of a lot of feng shui. Best days really do start with an early wake-up call but when I’m on my own and without work for structure, I just turn into a couch potato with an internet connection.

So thank goodness THAT’S over!

Well not really. I do feel like Online Couch Potato is my calling; but instead of following my dreams I will haul myself from my slumber in the morning and go to work like all the other spuds who start back to work tomorrow.

Hope your Christmas break has refreshed and revived you for a bright New Year. 

Achievement unlocked: first grey calendar box.