The Jamjar

Aliens and Ferris Wheels

I had two widescreen technocolour dreams last night. The first was a thriller, the second was science fiction. In the thriller I was a boy, and in a ferris wheel carriage with someone I knew to be the baddie, but knew the baddie didn't know I knew he was the baddie. But then it all went to custard when he tipped the both of us out of the ferris wheel carriage at the top of the ride. The baddie was holding onto a chain and was kindof tied to the carriage as well so was in little danger of falling (he'd planned it you see) and all i had to hold onto was fishing nylon - and I knew I couldn't hold it for long!! I knew someone was coming to help because I'd confided my suspicions to this person I just had to hold on long enough. The baddie still didn't know I knew he was a baddie before he turfed me out of the carriage and so had no clue help was coming. But help was taking a very long time.

The second dream was set in furturistic New Plymouth. We were in a bunker-like complex overlooking the Tasman Sea, with huge wheat fields behind us. This time I was a woman, and I had an 8 year old daughter. She was out playing with her friends and I was working in the tower - we seemed to be a monitoring station of sorts. I noticed four water spouts out at sea, and as we watched them (monitoring their progress) a huge shadow fell over the facility. Like a cloud over the sun, but looking up and out of the huge wall of plateglass we saw it was a huge craft.

Aliens - I didn't see THAT coming. They somehow docked (for want of a better word) with the window and they were like.. pinky octopussy kinda thingies but we knew, they'd come for the females - they wanted to take all the females and were killing the men and taking the women and female children onto their ship. Lots of running and hiding and me trying to get to the field where my smart daughter and her friends had decided to hide. It was all a bit "planet of the apes" down there. That's about when i woke up.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Harry Potter's Godfather is Gary Oldman!

Remember the good-old-days when I'd go to the movies, take photos and write reviews say stuff about them. Don't remember that they weren't great reviews stuffs, or that the pictures where blurry and my camera'd shine a bright-red-dot on the screen to alert the authorities to my taking unauthorised still pictures of their moving pictures. Forget all that - remember the joy of hearing my opinion of the movie and having it sway your plans to either now go, or not go. Remember that power I had?

I don't have that power anymore.

I just went to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and I liked it. Go to it if you like. I'm still not going to Troy, though. Not that Harry Potter has anything to do with Troy, I just thought I'd let you know.

There - that's an award-winning-post if ever I've seen one.

Was I *ever* interesting, because this working-from-home-never-talking-to-anyone-with-my-voice thing seems to be doing things to my imagination - it seems to have shriveled up and all but disappeared. I say "all but disappeared" because I imagined how horrible it would be to be shagged by that revolting penis mentioned in the last post and i think whatever imagination neurons I had left promptly committed suicide.

Gary Oldman, eh? Who'dve thought a) he'd look vaguely attractive in a children's movie and b) he'd get to marry Robin Wright. What *was* that black stuff that oozed from his forehead in the Fifth Element anyway? was that concentrated evil or concentrated yeast extract?

Rosie's getting into the swing of not being at work - she's been sending me phone pxt of places she's at (beach) and things she's eating (lemon curd thingie) so I am not entirely shut off from the human race in my tiny office with no Legolas posters. Rosie bought a Legolas poster for the office and was very nice enough to let me keep it. Unfortunately, it disappeared off the office wall before I could bring it to my home. I accused everyone of stealing it, insisting on full cubicle searches (oo i say) nerry a single Legolas was found until Rosie [click here to learn more about Rosie] found that it had actually just fallen off the wall and behind a desk and so she's bundled it up and I need to collect it from the office. Along with my coffee mug, and my noodle bowl.

Blu-tac is crap.

Smurf droppings.

[sorry I didn't mean to say that]