The Jamjar

10:40pm After tossing and turning

10:40pm

After tossing and turning all night, by the time I got to my office building, my jaw was sore from clenching my teeth for so long. All night dreaming about the different combinations of actions I could do to get things done. I'd left a job last night that wasn't going well, and the deadline - a 10:30am meeting - was tight if it continued to prove difficult. Arriving downstairs in the foyer, I greated a bunch of my co-workers coming out of an elevator that wasn't working. The one they piled into to take the 11 floors up to our office was too crowded for me so I decided to wait for the next one. Marshall waited too. Poor Marshall: he's my new boss btw (the sheriff in the sketch further down the page.. except, of course, he doesn't look like that, he's *much* taller). He was fresh back from a business trip to Wellington and he made the fatal mistake of asking me how everything was.

And out it came. With grrrs and growls and bad temper. Poor Marshall - he hadn't looked that happy before I started.. by the time I stopped my purge he was even saggier. He's so nice, and smart, and has such great ideas and plans. I know how frustrating it is there for me and I don't even have grand plans for the place. Well the project I was worrying about went okay and the client was happy and it made life easier for Penny for a moment or two. Pretty much after that, even though I worked another long day, I was pretty happy and upbeat. I won't infect Marshall again with my hiss and spit, but it sure helped to just say it to someone. Maybe next time I'll pick a lucky stranger in the street and spare the people I work with.

Today, Rosie is down in Wellington. We had a product nominated for a software award and she was at the ceremony to demonstrate the product and collect the prize should we have the good fortune to win. She phoned to say we hadn't won - Virtual Coach, a product being developed by and for my old company and client, respectively, won. When you see snippets of MSN conversations with Chris, he's the developer of Virtual Coach - the geek, the man with the code, the laid back one man band, the Two Times Award Winning Multimedia Developer. Well done, Chris. Congratulations Awhina.

It's the last day of October. That means three things. First thing, I have to archive this month. Second thing, I have to give Marshall my completed Personal Performance Indicator (Okay I made that up.. its either an IPP or a PPI so I took a stab at what it might mean). Third thing is that tomorrow, NaNoWrImO starts.. 30 days and 50,000 words. Last year I managed 112 words (inc. the title) so I'm hoping to do better than that this year.

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1:00am

i typed a whole lot about today at work.. and then deleted it. not specifics about people and projects, but about how some people make me feel, and the stupid way I respond to stuff. It's nearly 1am and I can't sleep. because all I can worry about is how I'm going to get stuff done.

Dear Diary
when I grow up, I don't want to be stupid anymore.
from Michelle.

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Earlier this year, and I

Earlier this year, and I don't think I blogged it, I found a website that turned out to be one of the most intriguing.. and in my opinion, best website promoting a movie I've ever come across. This week, the movie Donnie Darko opened at the Rialto theatre here in Auckland and I went to the 7:20pm session on Saturday night.

Its a story of a young man, who seems to suffer the symptoms of a paranoid schizophrenic. His life revolves around his school, his family, his visits to his therapist. The movie covers the time span of some 24 days or so, his life, the choices he makes and the events that shape his reality. He is on a voyage of discovery which leads him to face his greatest fear and make the ultimate decision. This movie is very much like the website that promotes it: a puzzle that takes time to work through, and has time as its leading character.

I thought this movie was really good. Interesting, well written, wonderfully filmed (the slowing and speeding up of action gave it the perfect tone) with fine performances from new faces with a solid supporting cast (I know, i sound like a dork but its true). This movie is well worth the $12.50 ticket and even the backbreakingly high parking fee of $17 at the Rialto parking building - I would recommend that you see this movie in its short visit to Auckland, if you are able to park anywhere else, do so, the Rialto Parking Building fees are highway robbery, plain and simple.

Conversation on seeing the "special effect" in Donnie Darko and funny only to a handful of people in the world:
Mish: "yeh, why don't you *just* copy and paste the special effect we used in The Abyss"
Rosie: "we can't, it was done in Quest"

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She phoned him, as he

She phoned him, as he had told her to. "I'm at the Half Moon Bay Dairy, can you come and pick me up?" "Sure." he said. "I'm in my car now, I won't be long." She walked to the roadside outside the store, and sat on the large rock feature on the curbside garden: a black coated figure in a grey stoned garden. And waited. She knew it would be sometime. He was always late. Sitting as the evening turned darker, thinking and remembering.

Backing her car out of the driveway, heavily pregnant. He was supposed to come home and take her to the hospital - she'd phoned him at work several times and told him she had to go - Doctor had said no later than 7pm but that time had come and long gone and he still wasn't home. Her car passed his along the street and she turned and followed him home, to get into his car to go to the hospital. He had excuses, of work and phonecalls. Waiting, it's what she did for years. Waiting as her blood dripped on the floor in heavy red splashes from the deep cut on her palm, waiting for him to finish his lunch before taking her to the hospital for stitching. Impatient, tearful, worried sick while he packed a bag of his clothes instead of driving straight to the hospital with the desperately sick child. Many points of wondering why he has the thought processes he has. And why she always felt like an afterthought, the one who could wait.

It was quite dark now, she looked up to see his car lights flying too fast past her and she sighed. He'd not listened or remembered even though she was were she always was when he'd come pick her up from the Ferry. She sat and waited for him to work out he'd gone to the wrong place to pick her up. A few minutes and his headlights slowly returned up the road to where she was. Smiling as she got into the car and his list of excuses he stopped at the look on her face. "what?" he asked. "Nothing." she said "Thankyou for coming to get me".

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Finding things is so neat.

Finding things is so neat. Forgotten snippets that open up huge areas of your brain. When I was 15 I carried my pens and pencils around in a cream coloured, zipped case. Some of my friends would write things on the outside of my pencil case, doodling during class. A particularly spectacularly perfect friend of mine , Cas, drew a heart on my cream pencilcase, and inside she wrote "Midge loves Rosencrantz and Guildenstern".

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MAD SHARK GAME Yesterday, for

MAD
SHARK GAME

Yesterday, for the first time since I moved in and needed a
plate and a fork, I unpacked some things. Moved empty boxes
under the house. Cleared some space. My place looks a little
more like a flat now and a little less like a storage facility.

Its not too bad, actually. Still not Mish-i-fied and the ants
are still throwing their dead onto my counter but I'll nag the
landlord some more and get that seen to.

I think the idea that it's nearly summer and light longer during
the day is helping.

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I was dreaming I was

I was dreaming I was at an airport, I had it in my head I was
in Rome. I had my bags and a nagging feeling I'd forgotten something.
Then I remembered what it was - my black boots. I groaned. My
mind quickly ran through the time needed to go back to my Hotel
to get them but there was no way I had enough time to do that
and still catch my flight. I realised then, too, that my sneakers
where with my boots.. darn. I love those boots, and those sneakers.
What on earth was I wearing if my shoes were in the Hotel room?
Looking down I see my white slippers with their little pink butterflies.
I can't believe I'm at an International airport wearing slippers.
I start thinking about how that would be okay - to travel home
in my slippers - sensible, even; until I start running through
crash scenarios and how my slippers would burn up on impact and
really boots were the thing I should be wearing. Dammit. I love
those boots. Funnily enough, I lugged those boots all around Europe
last year and didn't wear them at all.

Waking, the phone ringing.. My sister:

Jo: hi

Me: hiya *vaguely recognising Jo's voice, hoping its
not part of my dream*

Jo: how're you?

Me: sleeping. you?

Jo: hungry. Wanna go to Atomic for breakfast?

Me: yep. sure.

Jo: Unless, maybe we should go somewhere different. Robbie's
meeting her friend there too.

Me: We could go somewhere different.

Jo: Where could we go.

Me: We could go *thinking.. insert silence here*

Jo: Robbie says we should just go to the Atomic too.

Me: Phew. Cos, I was trying so hard to think of somewhere
else and I was like. _Blank.

Jo: Right. See you there, about.. 11am?

Me: ahhh *focusing on the clock.. more silence, this
focusing stuff takes time* phew, its only 9am. Yep, 11am is
good.

Jo: *laughs* what?

Me: well I was thinking 11am'd be no good if it was 10:30am
now but seeing as its 9am it's fine.

Jo: righto. see you there.

Every year we meet for French toast and coffee at the Atomic
Cafe in Ponsonby. I wait for her outside. this is the 3rd or
4th year. I arrive promptly. Normally, I go in and check she's
not inside at a table then wait for her outside. This year I
decided, seeing as she's never inside, I would just wait outside.
I was there promptly at 11am and waited 15 minutes. Thinking
of the conversation I'd had with Beverly the day before about
time, and how waiting for someone should have limits. Should
you wait 5 minutes? 10? 30? After 15 I decided to go in and
order a coffee, and drink it outside so I wouldn't miss her.
I walked into the over crowded cafe and there she was, sitting
at the table.

Me: hey!

Jo: *waving arms* hey!

Me: guess where I was?

Jo: where? I was just saying, it's not like Shelley to
be late.

Me: I was outside waiting for you for the last 15 minutes.

Jo: you goober.

I love my sister. she's the funniest person in the entire world..
bar none. I want to secretly record her and put it up online
so you can understand how very funny she is and so I can have
bits of her when she's not in Auckland or hanging off the end
of the phone. I can't even repeat the stories, they need her
to tell them. Everything she does is funny - getting stuck against
the table, trying to order coffee, trying on swimsuits. She's
such a sweetheart. And her girls are just as funny. All having
the marvellous gift of personality.

The word for today is 'scatterbrained'.

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Rosie: did you like,

Rosie: did you like, put that question mark on with Photoshop?

Mish: no? mannn... *whines*

Rosie: its all antialias'd and looks different

Mish: *head on desk* it was in case people didn't realise
it *was* a question

*der voice* "i'm a graphic designerrrrr"

and PS: she knew I'd posted that graphic within 2 minutes of me
uploading. how *does* she do that? *spooky music*

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The Sydney Roosters extinguished

The Sydney Roosters extinguished the hopes of nation with
a runaway 30-8 victory over the New Zealand Warriors at Sydney's
Telstra Stadium on Sunday night.

The courageous Warriors remained in the hunt into the final
quarter, even leading the Roosters 8-6 shortly after the break.
Brad Fittler was crucial for the Roosters, leading his side
to victory in the second half. Stacey Jones stood out for
the Warriors, and scored his side's only try. The Kiwis were
competitive throughout, and the game was anyone's for 60 minutes.
(more)
by James Gemmell

snaffled play by play recap
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It's a beautiful day

It's a beautiful day by all accounts - the sun is diffused through the opaque sliding doors of my flat. A good day to go into the city to watch the Warriors beat the Sydney Roosters on the big screen that has been set up at the bottom of Queen Street. The city's gonna go mad when we win. Nice to see Australian media are being consistant. Throughout the whole season, our live away games have been to suit the Australian audience. They're not kicking off until 10pm our time tonight to suit the Australian viewers yet again. We don't care - we can beat them at any time of the day.

Yesterday we finally made it to the Crocodile Hunter movie. Rosie and I had been trying unsuccessfully to see the movie all week but work has been mad. A nice 2pm Saturday session and a cup of coke with David as well - it was wonderful. A delightful, enthusiastic, funny funny movie. I absolutely loved it. Afterwards, we went to Borders for coffee and books. A really lovely afternoon.

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and the beat goes on

and the beat goes on
Friday, it's Friday
not that I *really* care. I was happy yesterday, and today I am happy again.
hope and sunshine *kinda* can't beat that combination.
I'd really like to buy a Weezer album.. I have Gone Fishin' in my head. In a good way.
The office is quiet, cool and the lights are off. The Fab Four are in: rosie, fraser, patrick and me. Normally the fab four'd be rosie, fraser, patrick and jonathan but he's taking "hours in lieu" for all the overtime he's done lately. I take mine by straggling in late every day for a couple of weeks. So he appears to be a hard worker and I maintain my reputation as a slacker.
Du's in Tauranga so we're [when I say "we" I don't actually include me] on phone duty [rosie mostly].
Coffee, Lemon Honey Bagel and Friday. Good day.

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Me: "mmm I smell like

Me: "mmm I smell like baby powder"
Fraser: "Stop putting them in the grinder then"
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Another new month. They keep

Another new month. They keep rolling 'round, don't they?

Suffering restrained pedestrian rage today at the silly scruffy people (I don't care what the fashion is, those denim dresses look terrible) getting in my way.

First day of the Challenger Series of the America's Cup. Lots of activity on the water today, big boats going out to the races, little boats, America's Cup boats, Ferries. Busy busy water. Then all coming back in again later in the day. The results are posted online so you can see how everyone is going. I need to find a team to back during the Louis Vuitton so I can cheer on a team. One of our New Americans in the office, Patrick, let out a quiet "whoo hoo" on seeing Stars and Stripes won it's match today - we can't have that kind of carryon in the office without contest.

Rosie and I were going to see the Crocodile Hunter tonight, but for some odd reason the session is so early we couldn't make it - 4:50pm is too early to finish work in these times of transition. We'll both start early tomorrow and get to that session though - we're determined to see this movie. I think we're the only Steve Irwin fans in this building.

I had my first Subway sandwich today: a 6" Roast Chicken Sub. It was okay. But getting it wasn't so okay - not that it was a disaster or anything just what I was asked for and the order it was made didn't match so I worried that they'd misheard me. They hadn't but I had to check. Rosie, Jonathan and I sat down by the water and ate our subs. It was nice to find a seat down there, normally you end up sitting on the concrete, and while that's okay for the first ten minutes, the novelty wears off pretty quickly.

Fragile Times - I think I'm exhausted. I say I've lost the will to live and I think that's exactly right. Roll on Christmas Holidays.

"Are you having fun?"
"No. I didn't think that was the object of the exercise"
"Oh, yes, it is!"

well yeh, of course it is and yes, usually I am. And I guess any minute now, I will be again. *sets a matching deadline* November 1st. Lets go.
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(content snaffled from nzherald.co.nz and

(content snaffled from nzherald.co.nz and nzoom.com)

The Jones boy keeps delivering


A famous day for Stacey Jones and the club. Fittingly it was Stacey Jones who provided the clincher which took the New Zealand Warriors to their first National Rugby League grand final after beating the Sharks 16-10 in Sydney on Sunday. It was foundation player Jones who new owner Eric Watson and new coach Daniel Anderson asked to revive the team's on-field fortunes after the club went belly up two years ago.

And the little general continued to deliver, beyond all but the wildest imagination of those dark days, when he put in the deft chip kick which broke a 10-10 deadlock with five minutes remaining as the Warriors sunk Cronulla 16-10 in the preliminary final. ...more...

and from NZ Herald:

The gravity of the Warriors’ win struck home in a Telegraph report headlined: "Kiwis A Game Away From The Unthinkable."

"They’ve won the America’s Cup, they own the Melbourne Cup and now they’re 80 minutes away from snatching rugby league’s most treasured prize. "The team that was broke and supposedly on death row two years ago yesterday stormed into the NRL grand final to set up trans-Tasman Us against Them War," Dean Ritchie wrote.

Herald columnist Roy Masters while praising the Warriors as "selfless, unified and resilient", warned the multi-dimensional Roosters would present a different challenge.

"During the past eight weeks, the Sydney team has dismantled and demoralised, winning pretty with speed and finesse in one game, winning ugly with strength and toughness in the next.

Coach Ricky Stuart indicated before yesterday’s match that he would prefer to play the Warriors because the Sharks’ style was so similar to his own team.

"Yet his battered and bruised pack will not relish an encounter with the Warriors’ hard-running forwards.

"Some of the Warriors have hands the size of canned hams, holding the ball in the palm above the outstretched arms of opponents, like giants playing with pygmies.

"The Roosters destroyed the Warriors 44-0 when they last met but that was a pale imitation of yesterday’s play. If the Roosters take that memory of the Warriors into the grand final, they will be like the boxer who has watched Lennox Lewis on tape and formulated a plan: suddenly, he hits you a few times and the plan is worthless."

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