October 11, 1999


The Movies. They (moviemakers) spend so much money making movies. Millions of dollars. Hundreds of Hours. How do they fuck up SO badly time and time again? I could spend that much money and make a really bad movie too, so why is it so very difficult for people in Hollywood to get movies made, when all they seem to be making is CRAP.
First it was Deep Blue Sea, this time it was The Haunting. It look like it cost squillions. The sets were pretty impressive, over the top digitally I guess, Phil Tippett strikes again. It got me thinking what the heck is scary. Remember those old movies, such as The Birds, or those Vincent Price classics.. they scared me. They really did. It wasn't entirely due to the fact I was young and silly cos the only thing that's changed is my age.
I have to collect my thoughts.
It's the unknown. It's not knowing where that shark is. It's not knowing what's under the stairs. It's not knowing if you are awake or asleep or where Freddie is gonna jump from. It doesnt work if you know and can see everything. The Haunting has no mystery. It has no dark. It has no unknown and isnt interesting enough for you to care anyways.

If it had more blood.. some oozing walls. If it had some sex.. nice girl on girl scene on one of those huge beds. And a bit of possession never goes astray, Liam could have done with being possessed by someone interesting.

October 14, 1999

It's Thursday -- Stars Day -- I enjoy the realastrology site, but I also use it (posting out stars) as an excuse to poke people with an email. Did you ever notice that? That maybe you think "thursday? michelle" is it stuck in your minds yet? And sometimes do you think, "Thursday? where are my stars? they havent arrived yet? michelle. " *heh* I actually didn't start the Stars thing with a plan but it seems it's turned out that way.

Today it's warm.

Yesterday was horrible for a number of reasons. One or two of them personal, yes, even too personal for you *poke* to hear about. The other reasons revolved around school.. revolved around Flash.. I got lost and could follow the tutorials. Thanks to Stephen I have a nice page of tutorials online to help me and they do *s* CrazyRaven -- go see and learn stuff.

We also had another exam. We have them quite often. They require 100%, and yesterday's was on sound, it was difficult. I see I wasn't the only one who found it difficult.. we have a school trip next week to a recording studio to brush up on our MIDI (or lack thereof) skills. Ross said we were all a bit dodgey with our knowledge. We have another exam tomorrow, this time Law -- copyright and censorship. We have covered copyright in class but not censorship so I am expecting to not do overly well in this area either.

Overall, this week has been nice - - especially the evenings.

I won't mention panicing about the course coming to a close.

October 18, 1999

Monday... 0930 My alarm clock was turned off. Not just the alarm.. the entire clock.. it wasn't when i went to bed but it was at quarter to eight when i woke up eekkk. I hate being late.

October 27, 1999





TYPE - NT (visionry/architect/builder)

"...you just reached the head of the Personality Transplant list..." "...the good news is the results of your Personality Test are in... the bad news is.. they were negative" "...sorry Madame, the results of your Personality Test proved inconclusive..." "...what a shame, she has such a pretty face..."

INTJ Introverted/Intuitive/Thinking/Judge INTJ's are the most self-confident of all the types, having "self power" awareness. Found in about 1% of the population, the INTJ's live in an introspective reality, focusing on possibilities, using thinking in the form of empirical logic and preferring that events and people serve some positive use. Decisions come naturally to INTJ's; once a decision is made, ITNJ's are at rest. INTJ's look to the future rather than the past, and a word which captures the essence of INTJ's is builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. To INTJ's authority based on position, rank, title or publication has absolutely no force. This type is not likely to succumb to the magic of slogans, watchwords or shibboleths. If an idea or position makes sense to an INTJ it will be adopted; if it doesn't, it won't, regardless of who took the postition or generated the idea. As with the INTP (Introvert/Intuitive/Thinking/Perceptive), authority per se does not impress the INTJ. INTJ's do, however, tend to conform to rules if they are useful, not because they believe in them, or because they make sense, but because of their unique view of reality. They are the supreme pramatists, who see reality as something which is quite arbitrary and made up. thus it can be used as a tool - or ignored. Reality is quite malleable and can be changed, conquered or brought to heel. Reality is a crucible for the refining of ideas and in this sense, INTJ's are the most theoretical of all the types. Where an ESTP (Extroverted/Sensation/Thinking/Perceptive) sees ideas as the pawn of reality, an INTJ sees reality as the pawn of ideas: No idea is too far fetched to be entertained. INTJ's are natural born brain-stormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. INTJ's can be very single-minded at times; this can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can ignore points of view and wishes of others. INTJ's usually rise to positions of reponsibility, for they work long and hard and are steady in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither time nor effort on their part or that of their colleagues and employees. Cost effectiveness is a concept which has a strong imperative for INTJs, who frequently select occupations in engineering, particularly human engineering. They also can be found in the physical sciences, in roles which require development, such as curriculum building, and, in general, any job which requires the creation and application of technology to complex areas. As mates, INTJs want harmony andorder in the home and in relationships. They are the most independent of all the types. They will trust their intuitions about others when making choices of friends and mates, even in the face of contradictory evidence and pressures applied by others. The emotions of an INTJ are hard to read and neither male nor female INTJ is apt to express emotional reactions. At times, both will seem cold, reserved and unresponsive, while in fact INTJ's are almost hypersensitive to signals of rejection from those for whom they care. In social situations, INTJs may also be unresponsive and may neglect to observe small rituals designed to put others at ease. For example, INTJs may communicate that time is wasted if used for idle dialogue and thus people receive a sense of hurry from an ITNJ which is not always intended. In their interpersonal relationships, INTJs are usually better in a working situation than in recreational situations. They do not enjoy physical contact except with a chosen few. As parents, INTJs are dedicated and single-minded in their devotion: Their children are a major focus in life. They are supportive of their children and tend to allow them to develop in directions of their own choosing. INTJs usually are firm and consistent in their discipline and rarely care to repeat directions given to children - or others. Being the most independent of all the types, they have a strong need for autonomy; indifference or criticism from people in general does not prticularly bother INTJs, if they believe that they are right. They also have a strong need for Privacy. The most important preference of an INTJ is intuition, but this is seldom seen. Rather, the function of thinking is used to deal with the world and with people. INTJs are vulnerable in the emotional area and my make serious mistakes here.

Use this test to see which of the 16 personality profiles fit you.

October 29, 1999

I just can't stay away for TechBooks in Newmarket (i would provide a link but their page takes ages to load and its not that great and its not worth the wait... just imagine.. Amazon.com but 10 billion dollars smaller).

So I walk in .. and of course, I get "oh god, she's back to feed her addiction." (but in a nice way) .. I don't know the two women other than the fact that I go into this shop so often I kinda recognise one of them and vaguely the other.. but they remember me cos i have to fork over my Student ID card for my '10% discount', my Regular Customer card for my '11th book free' thingo.. and my Bank Card to complete the transaction, so they see my name so often they remember it.

The short haired woman says.. "I thought you said you were gonna curb your spending, Michelle?" I scrunch one eye up, i have ABSOLUTLY no recollection of that comment, let alone saying it to this woman. "Where did you hear that?" I ask, "It's obviously a vicious rumour put about by someone other than me."

I mean.. I LOVE that store.. and I have three lines of my "11th book free" card to fill up. and I love filling in stuff.

This story is really to mask the fact that I embarrassed myself this morning with Andre.. and in front of others.. in the canteen.. and on retelling you probly won't grasp how very red my face glowed.

He ran past, his office is on one side of the canteen, his classroom the other. He did that I'm-not-really-running-inside run.. and his pants pockets jangled with lots of loose change and keys and whatever else guys tend to keep in their pants pockets. On his way from Classroom to Office I yelled "whoo hoo, Moneybags" like you do. I actually didn't think he had heard me, but on his way back, from Office to Classroom, he smiled and said "its not money" to which, of course I replied.. "I hope it is money, otherwise somethings broken in there".

Now repeating this story, and it seems okay, reasonable. Cept for some reason, I blushed.. like.. I-had-to-hide-my-face blushed, and according to Adrian, as the classroom door closed, Andre was blushing too. So I don't quite know what THATS all about cept Adrian and Rachelle were laughing like MAD.

Times and instances I guess.

October 1999

I met David yesterday. Known him since the Couplet days, and yesterday I had coffee with him at Mission Bay. He is as lovely as he appears online. Spent a nice few hours with him, yes indeed.

Though, of course, to start with I thought I was waving at him and it wasn't him at all. *starts at the beginning*

I didn't have a very good day yesterday - hell, lets face it, she's not been great for a while. School's difficult, some stuff has got behind, I am pathetic; you know, the usual. So I was later than I had planned getting away from the College, but arrived at the randevous point with ten minutes to spare (i really really hate being late) So, I park my car. And I walk to the big fountain, across the expanse of grass.. I see a man sitting on the park bench by the fountain.. that must be him. I wave. The guy, who is looking around and looking around, looking out for someone (me naturally) so I wave and walk some more.. and he keeps ignoring me. erm.. okay.. so this guy doesn't look as I expected David to look, but then who does? So i am still walking, ever closer, wind blustery as all fuck.. he looks at me again.. i wave and smile again (nearly there) and he fucking IGNORES ME!

So I get there.. up to him.. finally.. his hair blowing madly in the wind, my hair blowing madly in the wind.. and I say "David?" and he ignores me (or okay, doesn't hear me) "hi, are you David??" I repeat myself *hates repeating myself*. "No" he says. *typical, i think* "Oh." I can't just not talk to him now "who are you then?" (go mish) "(insert name i promptly forgot here)" ... "oh. right.. okay" I blunder *sitting in the park bench next to him* (yeh good move, scare the poor bugger to death, an entire park, 6 park benchs, sit next to him) (look around for the real Grant) "So, who are you waiting for?" I have been spending too much time with Sue *Gestapo Leader* Waterman, obviously. "Cliff (or some name similar I of course promptly forgot this information too)" So I share, like you do.. "I am waiting for David" (I hold his attention with my riviting conversational skills) *he spends his entire time on a) the edge of his seat and b) looking around anxiously for Cliff or Clegg or whateverthefuck the guy's name is* Then he chirps up. "Oh, there was a guy hanging 'round earlier (how long has this guy been here?) he's sitting in that Camero over there *points* (points for being helpful)" ahh.. "I don't think My guy as a car" (wrong mish never mind but anyway)

Okay, this is stupid Michelle.. you sit next to this guy and now you are like committed to sitting next to this guy cos what will he think if you got up and moved away.. you might hurt his feelings or feed his rejection problems or.. shut up mish *gets up and moves waaaaaay around the other side of the fountain so David can actually see me.

And he did, and it was good.. and he's tall, and lovely as I have mentioned. And that's the end of my story.