Thursday, March 01, 2001

email from Jo:

"my .... button isnt workin.....mmmm neiter is my ....
ok - uess te missin letters ten?

te quick brown fos jumps over te lazy do
wonder if SOMEONE as spilt sometin on it???

elp me"

Friday, March 02, 2001

If I could string two braincells together my day'd be going a whole lot smoother. I was emailannoying [act] but he's mooched off to more productive activities. Mental exhaustion - that's the official diagnosis (but, you have to have a mental something first, don't you?) Where are the rest of you when you're needed to distract my lazy mind?

Nearly lunchtime. I spend a lot of money on lunches down at Michael's cafe. I'm on this egg kick: scrambled, poached, hardboiled. I can't get enough of them at the moment. His pancakes are seductive. The salmon whip and bagel's not too bad either. I am hungry. I am also hanging out for Sheepies after work. A wee beer or three. Maybe dinner: lamb sandwich or steak and salad? Vinnie makes a nice steak. (she rambles on).

Nice to see Macromedia is having a one day seminar here in Auckland at the end of the Month. I love those things. Ra and I go have pancakes in Vulcan Lane and drink coffee and see old friends at the Aotea Ctr (where the conference is held) it's just a really good easy interesting day. Can't wait - 29th of March - don't forget to go if you are in town!! we are the hyper ones with the maple syrup stained shirts.

Sunday, March 04, 2001

"What are you doing?"
"Nothing I should be doing - It seems easy to avoid work this weekend, my ostrichy head has been to the beach."
"You can't avoid things you know, you should just deal with stuff as it arises, not this - wishywashy not dealing with stuff, that you do."
"i know, I knowww"
"I know you know, yet you repeat behaviour. Isn't it time you .."
"I KNOW"
"okay."
"and I've noticed you're back to four or five cups a day, how are you feeling?"
"sick"
"tsk, you're like a child."
"shuddup"
"What did you do today?"
"I went to see my brother."
"wow, is he in town?"
"yup, he's leaving the country. Moving to Melbourne. He was nice enough to leave from Auckland so I got to see him. *chuckle* he as hungover - for a change"
"heh, another one who never changes, you Parks have some strong genetic behavioural shit going on"
"yeh, we rock""he hugged me."
"is that unusal?"
"well, no.. i suppose not unusual in our recent past but in our overall lives it's fairly unusual. We were barely on speaking terms for the first half of our lives."
"so, you can change your behaviour?"
"seems so"
"what's that smell?"
*scents* "oh, that's fabric softener. I'm doing my laundry"
"it's nice"
"yes."
"Kurt Russell's looking old, isn't he?"
"yeh"
"how busy are you this week? anytime for the movies?"
"I can't see anything but work for the next two weeks. After that I'm keen"
"okay""I have no idea what's on at the Movies anyways. When you're free how about we just drive into the Rialto and just see the next screening?"
"oh yes, could we?"
"sure"
"so we don't have to think or decide or anything"
"yeh"
"like the old days"
"yeh, like the old days"
"I'd really like that."
"good, then it's a 'not noted' date then"
"cool"

Tuesday, March 06, 2001

"she did what?"
"she told him she was resigning, gave two weeks notice"
"she never did. what did he say?"
"he said 'ok'"
"then what did he say?"
"he said 'ok' again!"
"is that all he said??"
"that's all he said, she said he didn't even seem that bothered about it"
"holy cow. not even surprised?"
"nope"
"well God damn. What about other people she works with? were they surprised? how did they react?"
"they were shocked, worried, not happy. "
"wow"
"yeh"
"so when's she finishing up?"
"next friday I believe.. the 16th"
"hell of a booze up at Sheepies then I'd imagine"
"rock ON"
"mmm"
"why are we talking like this these days anyway?"
"I dunno.. some new initiative from higher up"
"oh, that'd explain it. another middle management nightmare"
"yeh"

Friday, March 09, 2001

I am moaning and groaning. Not in a good way. Tired. I am tired. I think it's this time of the day (4pm) and I'll perk up around 6pm (Sheepies time) it's just _this_ time of my day.

Sunday, March 11, 2001

[act] said it was amazing how hard I was working considering I'd resigned my job. He's right. It's amazing. It's nearly 11pm Sunday night and I've been here since 1pm this afternoon. Madness. Utter madness. I've worked 67 hours this week so far. 70 the week before. Wouldn't be so bad if I was paid overtime. 600km's in my car for the company too. I really need a new job. Although I don't particularly enjoy what I am doing right now - checking and testing and feeling sick because when I deliver it if it falls over I'm gonna look like a prat ONCE again - I do, overall, really like what I do. This field was just _made_ for me. You have to have lots of skills in different areas and if you're really lucky, you are outstanding in one of them (still trying to figure out which area I am to stand out in). You get to used computers and cool equipment, you get to meet people and answer the phone, but you don't HAVE to be with strangers all the time. You can work late into the night if you want to. Or start early in the morning. You get to solve people's presentational and learning problems and when you do, it's a wonderful feeling.

Tomorrow, Rachelle and I are off to Hamilton and Huntly. We firgured, if we have to take our own cars on work related excursions then we'd combine said excursion and visit Candyland (rachelle) and Grandmother's Garden (me) to make our day just that much better for all the hard HARD work we've put in this year. We're going to Hamilton first to see Anchor Training. Rachelle's doing marvellous things for their Process Control cdroms. Then it's to Huntly to deliver this content. I am nervous, I want it to go well, and it doesn't always go well.

This is my last week of work. I was thinking today I might buy a deck chair next Monday so I can lie in the sun and read a book. What a treat! I think I might.

Tuesday, March 13, 2001

I've burnt myself.. the oven door shut while I was taking the BaconandEgg pie from it and burnt both my arms. Ow. very ow.

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

a funny little guy just came into the office. we don't have a reception area or a shut door so sometimes we get some weirdos off the street just wandering in. This guy was of slight build, 5'4" maybe. every second tooth missing. arms folded across his body. baggy, worn cords and a paint stained shirt with sleeves rolled up. I turned in my seat to ask him how we could help

HIM "hi, I have this web site that looks like I have sponsership"
ME "sponsership?"
HIM "yeh, I have this website and it looks like I have sponsership, so I can put ads and stuff on there"
ME "oh yes"
HIM "yeh, so, what can you do?"
ME "what can we do? in regards too..?"
HIM "for my web site"
ME "well, generally, we make the websites here. We start our pricing at approximately $2,700+gst, depending on requirements. That price is for a basic dozen paged static site."
HIM "you charge $2,500 for a website??"
ME "plus gst"
HIM "hell.. for that I could buy a computer, learn HTML and set up and put you out of business!!"
ME "well, yes, you could"
HIM "I've already made the website, in Composer. I've put the images in and everything. What can you do?"
ME "well .. we don't host sites here. I'm not really understanding what it is you're wanting"
HIM "I want you to look over my website. Composer's quite limited and I would want you to check my work and make it better kind of thing."
ME "In that case, we'd take a look at what you've done, then based on our basic maintenence fee of $55hr+gst we'd give you a price"
HIM "You charge $55/hour for maintenence??!!"
ME "yeh, that's our basic charge. Maybe it's going to be better for you to talk to my boss."
HIM "that's a good idea"
ME "He's not here today."
HIM "bosses never are, are they"
ME "no, he'll be back on Monday. You can come in and talk to him then"
HIM "wow" (backing towards the door) "I'm gonna go learn HTML."
ME "that's a good idea"
HIM "wow"

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

DISCLAIMER: the following is most dodgey as I had a habit of dozing off during Science.

When a star collapses, like, before it becomes black hole (where even light can't escape the massive gravitational pull).. or maybe even another stage..before that one... but.. you know the stage I mean.. when the star becomes a pinprick lead drop shot of itself but it's gravity is like.. quadrillions more than it ever was before but it's size could fit into a matchbox, though, you couldn't do that because the thing'd be the weight of 10 million desent sized planets.

Well.

That's how I feel.

Sunday, March 18, 2001

It's weird. I'm wandering 'round, first weekend in about 5 I haven't had to work, feeling like I should be working. I am thinking this feeling'll last about a week, as it did at Christmas time when I took Leave.

Friday was my last day of working for Aztech Productions. My last day was so stressful with a meeting at Genesis Head Office to 'hand over' the Electricity Resource webpage to the 'WEB' Developer *ahem* *bit bitter about that whole arrangement* ..anyyyway.. it went okay and I behaved like an adult and then I came back to work and finished tidying up my harddrive and briefed my boss on where I was up to on stuff and where stuff was etc and then I had nothing to do. That was so strange. Rachelle and I wandered over to Sheepies and Kyle and Mike followed not long after for a few beers. (which was very decent of them considering they didn't get in from Wellington 'til 4am that morning) and John (boss) came over too. Sean came and stayed for a few which was very nice and Sonia turned up as well. Ra's brother Jure and his friend Sarah came by and Phil drove me home afterwards. I was so uptight from the last few weeks that I didn't drink much. But it was nice. Sheepies is great, when you're in NZ you have to go there. *orders*

It's a beautiful sunny day, I'm getting my hair cut in an hour, then going to Borders for a snoop around the book shelves then home to watch the Malaysian Grand Prix. What a great Sunday.

While I was blobbed out on my sofa yesterday afternoon, a group of people wandered past my window. This is odd because my window faces the backgarden. Seems my flat is on the market [I seem to have missed a memo] they assured me they would buy the place and keep the tenants, so maybe I'll have a new landlord soon. Greg wants me to buy the place, which, on the surface sounds great - live downstairs take a rental income from the upstairs place, but there is no way I want to have to service a mortgage right now. So we'll let this one go, okay?

Wednesday, March 21, 2001

With all this time on my hands, you'd think I'd archive some of this. sheesh. *mental note*

I fall into 'doing nothing' with such grace and ease. It's a talent, not everyone can do this. I am a bit annoyed that I'm waking at 7am when I was working I couldn't wake at 7am without a Double Alarm and even then I was shutting it off in my sleep. But now.. I wake and see the clock beaming 7:00 am and I roll over and doze off again. Today was a little more productive, tutorials and email *ahem* chatting. Okay okay so tomorrow when I wake at 7am I'll get up OKAY? okay. I do have a ton of things to do and time has a habit of slippin' on by when you don't watch out for it.

My CV needs updating as does my portfolio, though, I still don't have anything new to put in there even after a year at work. The website needs work, actually, all my websites need work. I have to get onto aucklandstories.com (read: badger clever friends to write for it)

The flights overseas are all confirmed. I fly out Friday March 30th and don't come home til May 2nd. I'm excited and scared at the same time. But that's to be expected. I am hoping by the time I hit Italy around the 16th I'll have a nose for travelling and so will do Italy justice. Mind you, if I don't, if I don't see as much as I've planned, I'll just have to go again, won't I?

Last night, Rachelle and I went to see the Director's Cut/The Exorsist. Well. It was long and it was disgusting and some parts made me laugh out loud and I showed no reverence what_so_ever. I remember watching the original late one night on television and it had scared me. This movie is not scary, it's just disgusting in parts, and overly long. There isn't a lot on at the moment. The new releases like Pass it Forward are showing in the City but not out here in South Auckland yet. Neither of us fancied Cast Away much. We both dislike Meg Ryan so Proof of Life was out of the question and we also realised we shared a common dislike for Catherine Zeta Jones tooo so didn't feel like Traffic (though, it's bound to be good and we'll see it in the end).

Saturday, March 24, 2001

Next Friday - 30 March 2001 - I start my trip at the ungodly hour of 4:45am *checkin time*. I fly to Sydney to board a Bristish Airways flight to London arriving at Heathrow 5:55am (who worked out these departure times!) on Saturday 31 March 2001. I'm in London until April 10th when I fly over to Amsterdam, arriving at 1:45pm (much more civilised) to spend a few days with Sander and Raquel, who Praise the Lord, are meeting me at the airport. Sometime around the 16th I'll be arriving in Italy to have a wander-around. I fly from Fiumicino, Rome on April 30 2001 stopping briefly in Bangkok and Sydney to Auckland and home. A month away. How fabulous.

Am I ready? Everything sorted? well, no. I've arranged for the computers to go into storage and that's about all. [priorities] but I don't have any winter clothes or sturdy footwear [I've seen the News on television and I've seen the Snow] I am from New Zealand, I don't think we 'do' cold weather well. People are saying helpful things "aw just buy a coat over there" but they are not realising to do that I have to get to the shops and I can't even manage public transport in my own town.

I keep telling myself this trip'll be good for me. And it will be. Good for me. I am just so ensconsed in my comfort zone *brings to mind Homer melding with the couch* that I'm worrying. Worrying that I won't make the most of opportunities. Worrying that I'll starve to death [that won't happen in only a month]. Worried that I'll be the biggest anti-climax the British Isles have seen in quite some time. I was going to say, I'm normally not a worrier, but I think Sander'd have some issues with that statement.

OH.. I was looking through old photos last night. Came across all sorts of pictures from as long ago as when I was thin. These made me laugh. They were half way between then and now. My now ex-husband was a diver, and my father was a diver, so I figured, I should be a diver too. This was one of my attempts. I assumed that because I wasn't small, I'd sink but instead I was extraordinary bouyant. Wearing all Greg's leaded weights I was still floating to the surface all the time, so in the underwater shot below you can see his foot on me keeping me under the water for the photograph. My other problem was, I am afraid of deep water *doh* so by the time I was in about ten feet of water and I could see the kelp ebbing and flowing, I got so spooked I was out of that water faster'n you could say "sharks only like seals and penguins, mish".

Sunday, March 25, 2001

Had a wonderful time last night at Kyle and Al's engagement party. They are a lovely couple, though I don't know Allison very well, it's obvious to everyone who meets them they are devoted to each other. Kyle has such a wonderful open, caring personality, and Allison, well, she's just nuts - crazy and inlove with Kyle *s*. I had a great night. I even danced, well.. okay.. flailed. But it hardly ever happens so that's testament alone to how 'at home' I felt.

Tonight we went to Planet Hollywood for dinner. Amy made sure the waiting staff knew it was my birthday and they did their "thing" they do for birthday people. I had to stand (i refused to stand on the chair mostly because I tend to fall off chairs) while they did their chant .. that was something like "I don't know but I've been told, someone here is getting old". It's always fun when it's someone else, isn't it? ah well. We had a nice time. The food there is good and the arcade downstairs keeps us entertained until the money runs out.

Thursday, March 29, 2001

I had a dream last night. I was at Bob's farewell. [ I worked with Bob Sadler about 17 years ago and he's leaving that company now. He called last week to invite me to the Drawing Office Shutdown on Friday 30th March but I'll be midflight so can't go. I like him ... appart from because he's just about the nicest man on the planet.. he calls me 'girl' and says 'whatcha mouse'] It seemed to be at his home.. or a home.. homely home not officey. Someone said something that offended me, something about my private life, and I felt very upset and left. Bob came and found me and wanted me to come back, and so I did. The walk back to the small friendly room we'd started in, turned out to be through and past many vast empty rooms. Old walls, old carpet, no furniture, doorways leading into even more large empty rooms. We were walking past rather than through them. I wanted to run through one room into the next just to see if there was another on the other side, but we had to hurry back to the farewell.

On waking, and thinking, I've remember the other houses I've dreamed about. There have been three, all familiar because they recur. This one is new. It's unknown but it's old. It's softly lit - not mysterious - just. waiting. I wonder if that's my adventure? I wonder if I dream of it again, there might be furniture in the first room, or maybe, I'll travel through some of those rooms. Interesting, that it's one level and it didn't have any doors.

I need to sleep but it's 3am and I've tried really really hard to sleep and failed and continue to fail. I'm about to go back and give it another try after having a BaileyMilo. Pancakes with Rachelle before the Macromedia seminar in the morning so I had better get some sleep.