|
|
 |
 |
A STREAMED RANT FROM
CHRIS' COMPUTER DOWNTOWN PAPATOETOE to CHRIS WHO ISN'T HERE
(note.. this wasn't written today)
so what's the real problem?
I mean.. they pay your salary, don't they? get all protective
when they think they're putting you out and think they need
to shift you a few bob to get you to pay day? they appear difficult
but really they're pussycats I mean, if you woofed at them they'd
back down tootsweet. so why the angst, the long hours, the need
to please? thats the question cos lord knows they never asked
you to. do they expect it? you perceive they do but do they
really? probably not. they work from this grateful place.. grateful
you work for them.. grateful you work for them for cheap...
grateful you don't show them up in public. They get rid of you
quick if you do that. isn't that what you want? why do you stay
if you're so miserable? are you miserable? maybe you're just
a miserable person. sure in hell you like to complain..you're
so bloody good at it you should write a book. you did already?
what was it about? well that doesn't count.. real life stuff
never sells. So you're sitting in an office of your previous
employer who seemed overwhelmed when you left him.. relieved..
he was. and now here you are sitting at a desk that at once
feels familiar and alien. remember when ra picked this desk?
you called it the "big bird" desk for its huge feet and footprint.
they had to dismantle it to bring it up the stairs, and it took
two big Samoan dudes and man did they sweat or what? but it's
the one that ra picked when john took her to the second hand
place to buy a desk. when she got it into the office she positioned
it so only she could get in behind it. she liked her hole in
the wall, her cave, her position of strength.. or whatever it
was. office positions are important. when i sat in the middle
of the office i became the hub and got pulled every which way
and never had time to do any work busy being yoinked into this
discussion or that meeting. now i am off centre, and out of
sight and in some instances, out of mind. I see Rosie at my
old desk being pulled willy nilly and run ragged just as I was
before. I sit in the corner.. giving up my wonderful view for
peace and quiet. Lets see. there are a lot of people who are
unhappy. I would be happy if i had a phone call or two from
jobs .. an interview'd keep me happy for a week or so.. give
me bouyance and hope my idea for this year was to find balance
but it seems i have fallen further into the pit of UN balance.
god dammit how hard can it be? do you think its a girl thing?
maybe women can't turn off sections of their brains. men appear
to be able to do it. multitasking is overrated. give me a single
line.. a thin lime line to follow. i guess it wouldn't work,
i mean, what if the kids ate poisonous berries or a saber toothed
tiger got them or something.
You just came in to check i was a) still here and b) not deleting
everything off your computer. well okay you didnt check for
b) because either you're 1) stupid (and you're not stupid) or
2) you can trust me. I'm one of those people who is trustworthy.
can sit in the "competitions" (and i use that term loosely cos
i think we move in different circles client-wise.. except for
one noted crossover) office and not even snoop once. not ONCE.
I'm the mum who picks up her daughter's diary and puts it back
under her pillow without opening it. I'm the employee who can
use the accountants computer and not open one single excel speadsheet
to see who earns what. Pat once said, on finding that someone
[me] had logged onto his computer after hours [ i was testing
on low spec computers ] "if it had been anyone else, I would
have been worried" to which I said "if I'd been snooping, you'd
never have known" but he didn't believe me. silly man, he has
no idea his entire C drive is shared so i could snoop from my
desk, for gods sakes.
Networks are weird like that. People rifling thru your files
when you don't even know.. nothing is secret. things turn up
eventually. i think.. if you live your life like everyone's
gonna find out everything in the end you sure stop doing some
stupid things.
I like this chair. its bouncey.
I have no mail.
I like notepad. though i hate that you can't control+save
that's annoying.
People at work have this colour coded notepad type application
but give me the black and white notepad straightup anytime.
I always thought I was bad at spelling but the fact is i never
really learned how. I cheated my way to Level 3 in Standard
3 and that was the highest I ever got. I cheated from a girl
called Dot.. short for Dorothy naturally.. I stayed at her place
a few times, but i know nothing about her except her name, where
she lived, and her face. she was soft and round and i must've
liked her or she me cos we were inseperable for .. well.. weeks
probably.. standard 3 i had to be like.. 9 or 10 or something.
9 probably. i dont know. maths was not my strong point either.
until I went to Tech and discovered a point to it. Did you know
I was in a Fitting and Turning apprenticeship? ah well. its
not very interesting these days.
in those days, girls didnt do that kind of thing. I had unsuccessfully
tried to get into printing but they didn't hire girls.. too
much trouble on the night shift being raped in the car parks
they said.. the boss *actually* said that was the reason I couldn't
be considered for a Printing Apprenticeship. So I fell into
draughting and defaulted into fitting and turning and staggered
thru a sexually harrassed four years of tech block courses.
mostly.. the guys slowly fell into step as i proved myself over
and over with scores and projects that passed and passed and
in the end won a prize for highest marks or some pahlarvah.
I don't know really.. i got a cup and a certificate but i had
it mailed ot me cos i was too busy working at Kapuni to attend
the prizegiving.
i just assumed there wasn't any point going i mean as if *I'd*
win anything.
I HAVE (CAN YOU START ANYMORE SENTENCE WITH i MICHELLE?) I
have an online life. It's been rich and interesting since 1996.
but now i am grown out of it. finally i hear some people say.
FINALLY. but i have great friends..real ones.. met-them-and-they-still-like-me-ones.
met-them-more-than-once ones and they still like me AND want
to see me again. okay.. that's Freya. one. okay one. Stephen'd
be the same if i met him. Mike too, probably. Adam wasn't. Nick
was, but I didn't want to see him again. Too many married men
online for an old duck like me. I can spot them.. friendly and
sad, sigh a lot, i'm attracted to them... dead give away. So
I haven't met anyone new online for.. well.. when did i go to
europe? April/May 2001. Thrice burned and all that. No, I didnt
go there for THAT. but it was part of it. I have one guy, long
long time friend who wants to take me out to dinner. he's gonna
come here one day and do it. probably be the last thing we ever
do together. he'll find out all i do is talk about work and
sex and whinge and drink beer. he'll go home and that'll be
the end of that.
do people really like Santana? how uncool is it to NOT like
Santana. Marshall likes Santana. of course he does. everything
he likes I don't like. Pink Floyd he likes, i don't. "how can
you not like Pink Floyd" he asks incredulously. "like this *not
liking pink floyd quietly to myself*" he loves powerpoint..
i can't *SEE* The point. we are at odds a lot of the time with
superficial things.. but the core of us is the same. his philosophies
are mine i just didnt' know they had a name and he being American
names them all. we like lines, and logical paths and sensible
metaphors and colour and simplicity. cept he's so 1998 and i'm
so 2004 (welll okay 2000 at least) but he's also very "what
can we do in the time we have" which is the very best way to
be.
all i need now is for john to walk in and be shocked that i'm
here and demand an explaination. i'm gonna tell him that I am
in your car pool. *nods* perfectly reasonable reason to be typing
at your computer.
does your air conditioning unit go all night or do you turn
it off before you go home?
I'm sorry if i bug you during the day but i can't help it.
well i guess i could if i *really* tried but i dont think i've
*really* tried at anything mywhole life. well not hard stuff..
i *really* try inside my comfort zone but not in the difficult
zone of things i can't do.
things I can't do by Michelle:
i can't fly
can't waterski
can't be in the dark without feeling the edge of panic
can't hold my breath for very long
can't NOT talk to people in a lift
can't not be cheeky to barmen
can't feel attraction to my ex
can't go more than a day or so without seeing my kids then mostly
i just fall asleep on the sofa but they don't mind
can't eat breakfast
can't drink more than one beer without feeling tipsy
can't give blood - something wrong with it.. i'd tell you but
I can't spell heamoglobin. see?
can't wake up without an alarmclock
can't sing like Leanne Rymes. Kinda wish i could but i'd sing
different stuff.
can't stop giggling when my sister tells me stories about how
bad i am.
can't remember a birthday correctly
can't watch tv without using the remote in the adverts
can't stop missing rachelle and wish she'd just come home
can't find a decent place to live
can't understand how i ended up like this
what can i do?
i can sing.. sometimes.. amy says if i start on the right note
i'm okay but if i dont.. well. hmm.
i can dance .. ish. okay well amy'd dispute that too.
I can giggle.
I can be quiet.
I can see when things are right
I can love my kids
I can listen to what they're saying
I can go to the movies within a moments notice.
oh i can tell you something else.. i can't lipread.. what did
you just say?
by [michelle] -
5:08 PM
I have a new boyfriend.
His name is Daniel.
Daniel Le Brun.
I spent all afternoon with him. He was delicious and cool.
I couldn't get enough of him sitting in the sun under the trees
in Devonport. He made me feel wonderful and danced like a dream.
I hope I see him again.
Soon.
by [michelle] -
11:02 PM
My knee hurts. The crescent shaped bruise that is darkening
as_we_speak showing where i landed after falling at the Loaded
Hog. Sonia's mouth was open about to utter the words that
would save me "watch out there's a step" but she was too late
and I was moving too fast. Natural instinct made me try to save
the beer I had in my hand but it shattered on the table and
i kept falling onto my knee, twisting my ankle - as it turns
out *again* [it's sonia i tell you everytime we go to Events
(okay, twice) this kinda thing happens] on my knees in a puddle
of beer and shattered glass at the feet of two *very* nice men
from Melbourne who were *very* kind and helpful and consoling.
I looked up at them and said "if you're gonna go, you need to
go big" and they laughed. Sonia sat me down and told me to stay
put. I did for a bit then got up and helped clean up the mess.
The barman teased me about messing up his bar and made me sit
back down again. I don't think they trust me !!
The Devonport Wine
and Food Festival, which had preceeded this spectacular
fall, was nice. Nice music and tastey food and the Le Brun tent
was my favourite though I spent *way* too much money.
by [michelle] -
10:35 AM
Perhaps love is like
a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come close
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through
Oh, love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you
Perhaps Love
Words and music by John Denver
(download music - 2.5mb)
by [michelle] -
4:13 PM
 |
The only game in town today is the
first race of the America's Cup. Team New Zealand (Kiwi
boat skipper Dean Barker from New Zealand) vs. Alinghi (swiss
boat skipper Russell Coutts from New Zealand). Yes, it was
always going to come down to this. Two kiwi's fighting it
out. For those who don't know, Coutts was the great Americas
Cup skipper who left the New Zealand team after the last
win to take up a Swiss offer. A lot of kiwis have branded
him a traitor. You know, it's just business. Get the hell
over it. We had two kiwi skippers fighting for the Louis
Vuitton: Chris Dickson vs Russell Coutts. Amazing really,
to have so many kiwis in the great America's Cup on all
different boats.
The race started on time in 22 knots of wind. the first
of races held on consecutive days (weather permitting)
best of 9. The start was perfect.. both skippers timed
it beautifully and crossed the line bow to bow and Team
New Zealand streaked to a 16 m lead. Then the cameras
showed, water coming into the boat, lots of water coming
into the New Zealand boat. Sailors bailing. Then the Headsail
flapping back along the boat not tied to the bow as it
should be, the boom broken - Team new Zealand was in trouble.
Shortly after that, they were dead in the water and the
tender boat was towing it back to port. Team New Zealand
withdrew from the first race of the America's Cup and
Alinghi went on to complete the course and win their first
point.
check
out the official site
|
One might thing, with all this chatter
about the America's Cup, the photographs might have been
more nautical. Tomatoes, The Professionals, and my iBook
were all I had today. I'll take more boating images on Monday
on a Granny around the Viaduct.
Meanwhile, the tomatoes are delicious. Picking sun warmed
fruit from the vine to slice over hot buttered breakfast
toast is what summer is all about. I learned a few tricks
this season about planting tomatoes so hope that next
year's crop will be even brighter and tastier. Store bought
tomatoes really are so watery and tasteless.
One of the great things about spending some time at home
midweek is catching The Professionals on television. I
have lots of the episodes on video tape but there is something
about accidently catching it on television that just makes
it so much more fun. I had dreadful trouble chosing between
Lewis Collins (Bodie) and Martin Shaw (Doyle). Bodie so
moody and dangerous and hot headed. Doyle so sensitive
and clever. *sighs* |
 |
by [michelle] -
12:22 AM
Race Two of the America's
Cup Team New Zealand vs. Alinghi - the Swiss boat.. but you know
that already...okay.. okay.. i can't stand this.. it's tooooo
nerve wracking. We lost again by 7 seconds this time.. lead nearly
all the way except when it counted. God. Toooo Stressful. What
an amazing race. Nail biting, exciting, amazing race.
by [michelle] -
7:08 PM
|
How many Bob Salders are *too* many Bob
Sadlers? Well, so far, I have two. *waves to you both*
Sometimes, and especially at the moment, I have
to wonder how many people don't have jobs but enough
money to do what the people on the Stamford Plaza
roof do all day: lounge about and swim and stuff.
Yesterday, nearly all the deckchairs were utilised.
Bodies tanning everywhere. I guess there are a lot
of people in town for the Race, but just as it's
odd to think there are snow storms in the North
West of the USA, its weird for my poor brain to
comprehend that not everyone works when I do. It's
not even that I don't want to be working - it's
just that I'm not all that bright.
The weather has been absolutely glorious during
the day, and the last two nights the moon has been
fat and heavy.
Driving into work [took forever] it seemed as if
the entire North Island drove into Auckland this
morning to watch and lend support to our America's
Cup Team. If good wishes could affect windspeed
we might have won, but alas, we did not. Trailing
the whole race, Alinghi was just faster.
Best of 9 races or first to 5 and we're 3 down.
It's hard to win against the best match yachtsman
in the world, but remember, Dean Barker has
beaten Russell Coutts before - he may well again.
Go Team New Zealand!! |
 |
|
by [michelle] -
10:47 AM
I woke up to the unfamiliar
sound.. well, of late anyway.. rain. Sleeping like a bag of rocks
lately, mostly due to this pesky summer cold that won't go away,
I lingered long in my bed and paid the price with lateness and
heavy traffic. Why does it take all night for your bed to become
perfect and so hard to leave? The realisation I was too late for
the DownTown Carpark's Earlybird fee of $12 vs the all day fee
of $26 saw me paying $2 to leave the place and park 25 minutes
walk-in-the-rain away in Beaumont Street's $5 outdoor park. It
was a pleasent walk under my umbrella right up until that car
drove through that puddle and soaked me well and truly. Wet and
muggy - can't beat Auckland in the summer - though, I'm not complaining,
the weather has been glorious of late.
by [michelle] -
5:20 PM
by [michelle] -
1:43 PM
par·a·noi·a
n.
A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution
with or without grandeur, often strenuously defended with apparent
logic and reason. Extreme, irrational distrust of others.
by [michelle] -
4:51 PM
|
I wasn't thinking I would last til the end
of the day, let alone go out. My cold has developed into
a cough and my head was all clothy. I was swigging back
Robitussin like there was no tomorrow. Rosie brought that
to Marshall's attention and he told us all about one of
its active ingredients, Dextromethorphan, and how it can give you a nice "buzz", but
the antihystimine part of the medicine can cause harm if
the dosages are exceeded. Quite interesting really - I looked
it up and had a wee bit of a read. I was feeling weird though,
having had exceeded the recommended dose by quite a lot,
but I didnt feel sick and my cough wasn't really lessening.
The only really sensible thing to do, when called to, is
to have a beer.
We used to have drinks on every Friday. It was good when
I first started, I liked stopping at 5pm and sitting around
the boardroom. James was there and he was so funny. Sometimes
we'd drink far too much and other times we'd just drink
too much. But, then there were a few project problems
at work and during one of our lectures/bollockings, it
was mentioned by my bosses how good they were to us and
how much money they spent on our Friday night drinks and
I got all uppity and decided to stop attending the Friday
night drinks. It was difficult then, and awkward. No one
felt they would stay and we'd go off and do our own thing.
Really, weekly was far too often. Fortnightly or monthly
was a better idea. Last night was the first time in what
seems a goodly time that mostly people stayed for a drink.
Found out Marshall is only a week younger than me. For
a some reason I thought it was more like 6 years, bit
it seems his birthday is only 8 days after mine.
Duana and I had already decided we'd go to Float after
work. Todd was talking about joining us and Jonathan'd
said he'd drop by. So, after we'd spend a really enjoyable
time at work with Deb and Marshall and the new sales guy,
Graham and his wife and writing an advertisement for a
replacement Duana (she leaves next month)*scroll down
to see the ad* we made our way down Albert Street to the
Viaduct and to Float.
(Float used to be Left Field)
Marshall and his son stopped in for a quick one before
going to eat a cow at Angus'
Steakhouse - tagging-out Todd who had a ferry to catch.
Du and I chatted and were chatted to, watched the Rugby
and laughed and laughed at everything and nothing, then
Jonathan was there suddenly and we ordered food and talked
and drank some more. Duana caught the 9:30pm ferry and
Jonathan and I stayed on at Float for a while before going
up High
Street to another couple of bars.
We played pool and drank beer and watched people. Bars
I'd never been to before, but felt quite comfortable in.
But I was getting hungry and being in the area meant my
stomach needed Kebabs on Queen attention so we wandered
there next to order minilambkababs and sit in Queen Street
eating them and letting the sweet chillie sauce do its
magic. It was late, for me, by then so I said goodnight
and came home to my bed.
A really nice evening in the end, always the way when
you think you'll pike earlier. I wake up this morning
to see I've left my cough syrup at work so I spose I'm
going cold turkey and not swigging that back for the rest
of my day. It's Race Four of the America's Cup this afternoon (Postponned from Thursday due
to inconsistant winds). So I'll probably be back later
to tell you all about the race and how we outsailed them
and the change in the team, made all the difference and
I'll be all excited and you people outside New Zealand
will think all we ever do down here is watch yachts race.
|
Office Administrator - We need a new Duana…
The glue that holds our organisation is leaving to see
the world. We need a new Duana! If you have exceptional
organisational skills, forward thinking, outstanding abilities
to bend Microsoft Word to your will, experience in Excel,
Powerpoint and an understanding of databases along with
a exceptional phone manner, WE NEED YOU!
You will need to be great under pressure, cos you'll
be under it all the time. You'll need to be able to multitask
and cope with highstrung ... eerrrr excitable … management
team.
We'd love you to have a passion for learning, because
we do, and we look forward to you learning new skills
while you are with us.
What can we offer you? An interesting company of passionate
professionals, excitement, thrills and spills. |
by [michelle] -
10:26 AM
the most beautiful evening for a Habour Cruise. We found Pier
Z, Westhaven without any pain or stress and I didn't fall in
the water getting on board the boat. Before we had even left
our moaring, I considered it a success.
I've been out with Sonia and her Company Company before, but
noticed this time, that the crowd was more diverse, and had
more fun. The calm, warm night of sailing out and around the
America's Cup Village and then out and up under the Bridge towards
Riverhead took a few hours and saw us back onshore by 11pm or
so.
There were people out everywhere. On boats, on balconies and
walking along the wharves. Cheering, calling, waving Loyal flags.
Sailing around the America's Cup Village was wonderful, the
boats hoisted up into their docks for the night, like prized
trophies on a mantle. Huge, heavy boats lifting and lowered
into the water at the end and beginning of each racing day.
I took a few photos *doh* but the light wasn't great. auckland
is a very pretty city from the water.
by [michelle] -
3:26 PM
by [michelle] -
12:50 PM
*warning: erratic capitalisation and punctuation ahead*
I am *so* sick of getting SPAM!! I am quite sure my ISP'd be
only too happy to SELL me some kind of SPAM filter. But I dont
want to buy the right to a clean inbox i just WANT one. And,
i have to say, i get this SPAM on a non published email address
so it pisses me off EVEN MORE!!
Meanwhile, I am eating home-grown tomatoes on toast and a cup
of tea. The weather here is blustery wintery no_americas_cup'pery.
It's like the dead of winter - cold fingertips and thoughts
of pumpkin soup and buttery toast. Might be a curry day afterall.
It's *certainly* not a scrambled egg day *gags*
by [michelle] -
10:32 AM
|
|
