Sunday, January 13, 2002

Beginning of the year feels strange - like starting a new job. The slate feels clean and the year new stretches out before me so full of promise. My head is a list of objectives to make sure this is the year i meet the goals I set for myself.

In the last few dark weeks of 2001 when a deadline was screaming up and hours were few and running out, I was beating myself up for being a failure. For not moving enough, for only reading one non-work related book, for managing my finaces like a bumbling idiot at the best of times and like Gollum with the Ring at the worst. But then I got a case of the sensibles and listed the wonderful things i had been able to do in 2001. I had managed to buy my beautiful MacG4 and legal software. I had left the job at Aztech Productions which was killing my spirit by degrees. I had travelled overseas - alone - and seen things so old and so beautiful and met long time dearly loved friends. I had survived being unemployed for the first time in my life. The scary druggies upstairs forced a move but I am now living with other people which means I'm taking better care of myself. I had the flush of wonderful job offers which gave me the luxury to chosing a really good job as a Graphic Designer. My family still love me and I have a nice place to live. My friends still love me despite my vagueness and infrequent care. My car is registered and has a current Warrant of Fitness. I fixed my iBook. I even managed a date or two. That's pretty grown up, isn't it?

I'd like a quiet year this year though. To concentrate on work. To feel more solid about things in general and me in particular. I willprobably have to move house but if that's the most change for 2002, I will be happy.

Saturday, January 19, 2002

I'm having trouble getting into the swing of thejamjar this year. No problem with the swing of everything else. I'm busy and working and everything else seems to have settled into place nicely.

My dreams of late have been a bit odd - even from the usual. Vivid dreams with shape and colour, scripts and cinematography. Last night's offering had man eating fish - literally. A fish tank in my dream, and a couple of new slug-type creatures were introduced (black and red with a frilly backbone) and while they happily snorted around the pebbles in the bottom of the tank in the background of my dream, all of a sudden the other members of the tank started leaping out. Of course, they weren't your normal fish and all of a sudden the fishtank wasn't in the background but became the real problem of the dream. The salamander 'thing' from the front of O'Reilly's Flash Actionscripting book was nipping at my heels and trying to bite me. I had to shuck offf a shirt to cover it and it writhed and wriggled and wrapped itself into a flannel bundle i left on the living room floor. Other fish too, flying out of the tank, landing on the floor etc. Seems those slug things were poisoning the water and the fish were in agony and leaping from the tank. Then I started coughing and choking and cacking up worms and snakes and goo and arg it was horrible. There was other stuff going on - my place seemed like it was in an American small town, at a truck stop to be more particular. I'm pretty sure Klie was eating bacon and eggs in the cafe. It was all a bit Mid West Photo-realistic. I'm sure glad i woke up.

I am listening to 7 Worlds Collide at every opportunity. I am so sorry i missed the concerts - I would have gone had I been in the country. My favourite track is Stuff and Nonsense with Eddie Vedder and Tim Finn. Just lovely. Makes me want to go and buy all the cd versions of the Split Enz albums I own.

Just another day at the office. From left to right: James, Duana, Nicola and Jonathan.

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

(05:56:42) ~JJ~ : Christ almighty this office is becoming like Paris in 1792 - "Excuse me sir, fancy a dagger to match your cloak?"
(05:57:46) laetitia says to ~JJ~: are you going to have to upturn desks and use them as barricades??!
(05:58:14) ~JJ~ : Seems like the movers and shakers all want to use me as their pawn - but little do they know, I am a rook in pawn's clothing and am working to my own agenda *dark mutterings*
(05:58:44) ~JJ~ says to laetitia: Probably - might have to storm the stationary cupboard too.
(05:59:01) ~JJ~ : "The peasants have no pens!"
(05:59:16) ~JJ~ : "Let them use printer cartridges."
(05:59:23) laetitia says to ~JJ~: I like pens. *licking lips
(05:59:49) ~JJ~ says to laetitia: Do you really? Stop licking my lips - it's disgusting
(06:00:51) ~JJ~ : Beware the statement "Believe me, the MD will take that criticism so much better coming from you than me..."

(06:09:43) ~JJ~ says to [mish]: Came up with a new word this morning
(06:10:02) [mish] says to ~JJ~: do tell
(06:10:05) ~JJ~ says to [mish]: "mishnutes"
(06:10:12) [mish] says to ~JJ~: what is that?
(06:10:38) ~JJ~ says to [mish]: Those five extra minutes you stay in bed in the morning when you feel more comfortable than you ever do when you've got TIME to sleep in

It seems a really simple concept: put the coins into the machine, it produces a sticker that tells the Car Park how long you've paid to park which you stick to the inside of your car window. The Civic Car Park has been a favourite of mine for afterhours City carryons, and I always have coins in my hand - ready - to pay my way. This afternoon, I didn't have any coins, so followed the "change available at office" sign to EFTPOS coinage. Simple really. Except you can't. They'll accept money for money, but won't let you use your EFTPOS card - but that's all I had. No, I was told, you follow that gentleman *gesture to man with same problem who was following a woman with same problem who was more than likely following another person with the same problem* to a CashPoint machine to use your EFTPOS card to retrieve cash to then walk back to the office and then, and only then, will they exchange your paper money for the coinage needed to Park in their car park. This might have been less stressful if I hadn't already burned too much time trying to find a carpark that wasn't full. I asked, why: Why can't I just EFTPOS - you have an EFTPOS machine here - why can't I transfer the funds to you and you give me coinage? why? because, its policy. Fucking Stupid Policy I declared, burning [in my mind] the bridge connecting me to the $2 coins I needed to feed the machine.

I walked all the way into the iMax complex, withdrew my money and, determined not to ask that office woman at the Civic Car Park for change, went to a Cafe and asked if they could change my $20 note for change. No, they couldn't. why not? policy.

Trundling out of the iMax building and into Borders and queued. Please, I said when I got to a cashier, Please help me. She offered to try her best but when she heard I needed change she said I had to buy something. I said, I just need money to feed my parking meter in the Car Park. No, she said, it's Borders policy that a purchase must be made first, but there was a dairy down the road, I could try there. I left, and crossed the road. Next to the dairy was a Games Arcade - more change than they know what to do with I thought so in I barrelled. Upon asking for change for my $20 note, held high to assure them I had money, I was told . Only if you use the change to play on the machines. No, I said, I just need change to feed the parking meter in the Civic Car Park. No, she said, No you can't have any money. I was walking away and into the Dairy. The Proprieter didn't speak English as his first language but sure knew how to tell me no change for you no way no how.

Quite mad and flustered by this stage but onwards I went, downwards, further away from the Car Park I powered. Into a StarMart, surely they'll helpme. Would you please exchange my $20 for coins, any coins, any mixture, so I can feed my parking meter in the Civic Car Park? Well, she said, We're not supposed to do that. I said, you're not supposed to or you're not going to? Not going to, she said. Fine I said. Sorry, she said, it's just policy. I said, great and congratulations, you're the fifth place to turn down my seemingly simple request. I strode out of the StarMart in full-blown Lawlor [the Irish side of my family] indignation and frustration and rightious blind fury to be turned away from the sixth stop to finally stumble into the ASB Bank, to stand in the queue, to get to the front and beg for change for my $20. Yes madam, $2 coins okay? Yes I said, thankyou, I said, you are the lucky seventh, the six before you failed and here you are coming through for me, thankyou thankyou. Erm, he said, opening and shutting his cash drawers, I don't seem to have enough coins. DON'T, I said. DON'T do this to me! I can give you an assortment of coins, if that's all right? his eyebrows did that slanting worried thing, like a puppy dog, if puppy dogs had eyebrows. That's fine. Anything will do.

Powerwalking back up to the Civic Car Park and over to the machine and started feeding the coins into the slot. I was being forceful and pushing them in hard. They were coming out the bottom! I forgot, these machines need you to hold your tongue just right or they don't take your money. I had to calm down and carefully feed my hard earned money into the slot. I turned to the woman behind me, who was kind of snickering to herself at my flustered movements and grumbling and said "I hate this fucking car park" and she laughed and said, "it's great, isn't it?" Then walk to work, having spent a good hour parking my car.

Thursday, January 24, 2002

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Kinky is using a feather," begins one of the gems of folk wisdom circulating on the Internet. "Perverted is using the whole chicken." Make that your cautionary metaphor for the coming weeks, Aries. You will have cosmic license to indulge in all manner of extravagant, exploratory, exotic adventures. The only way the license will be revoked is if you try to get far too much of every good thing.

Friday, January 25, 2002

You know Rachelle? I first met her in 1999 at the National College of Multimedia and Technology during my Advanced Multimedia course. She and I were the only two women on the course to actually finish, and she was the only one in the class who enjoyed and developed a talent for, coding LINGO (the programming language of Macromedia Director). She received a special award in programming on completing the course. After I started at Aztech Productions, when we needed to grow our staff there was no hesitation for me at all - she was available and we hired her. Now, two years later Rachelle has just finished working for Aztech and is going to the United Kingdom February 3rd to make her fortune. Here, at the Learning Curve, we needed a contractor well versed in Director. Again, no hesitation, with a recommendation, Rachelle gets to spend her last week in New Zealand working out a contract here with me. How cool is that? Cool.

Thursday, January 31, 2002

"So, what's she been up to then?"
"I dunno. It's been pretty quiet here so far this year."
"When I was rummaging, erm, looking for a pen on her desk - I noticed her 'to do' list was insanely long."
"Yeh, I heard she was kinda busy."
"Is it true she'll be at Mad Dogs and Gentlemen on Albert Street this Friday?"
"Ah, huh. It's Rachelle's going away thing."
"Cor, that'll be messy."
"Amen."
"Hey?"
"Yeh?"
"She talks a lot, right?"
"Hell yeh"
"So, if she's not talking here..."
"Mmmm.."
"Where *is* she talking?"